Many a time you feel you are being taken for granted by your spouse, don’t you?
Do you know this aspect in your relationship makes you bitter and resentful against him\her?
You hate it when your spouse takes you for granted. It is as though he\she feels it is an unwritten law that you should do your duties for the family without expecting any appreciation.
Yes!
Your spouse smugly takes your committment as a part of your duty.
Your blood boils in furious anger at the unfairness of it, doesn’t it?
But your spouse was not like this before marriage.
- He\she constantly appreciated you.
- Your spouse informed you before doing anything.
- He\she consulted you about his\her decisions.
- Your spouse thanked you for all the good things you do for him\her.
- He\she showed how much he\she feels attracted to you.
But, after a few years of your relationship, there is a volte face in the behavior of your spouse. He\she undergoes drastic changes in the way he\she interacts with you.
You intuitively feel that you are being overlooked by your spouse. Initially you think it might be your imagination. But soon, your doubts are confirmed. You are indeed being taken for granted by your spouse.
How exactly are you being taken for granted by your spouse?
1. Your spouse overlooks your contribution towards the family.
Your spouse feels that you are not doing anything extraordinary that he\she should be grateful towards you. This is the reason he\she coolly accepts your commitment as a part of your duty.
Your spouse withdraws from family responsibilities, making you deal with it all alone. He\she smugly feels that you are the only one answerable to unexpected family issues that crop up.
Your spouse never thinks it his\her duty to share family commitments with you.
2. He\she takes arbitrary decisions without consulting you.
Your spouse takes many family decisions without consulting you. He\she never values your opinion.
You are often in the dark about his\her plans for the family.
You are naturally enraged as you feel you too have rights to make suggestions for the family.
3. Your spouse never appreciates you.
Your spouse no longer appreciates you. He\she feels doing family duties doesn’t warrant an appreciation.
Your relentless work towards the family fails to catch his\her attention. You can literally feel your spouse casually overlooking everything you do without a word of appreciation.
4. Your spouse never understands your viewpoint.
This is one aspect that makes you feel you are being taken for granted by your spouse. He\she does everything from his\her viewpoint.
Is it a financial investment?
Your spouse knows only his\her own ideas. Your ideas are never taken for consideration.
Is it the education of your children?
He\she decides about it without understanding that you too have rights to be consulted about your children.
5. Your spouse has one law for himself\herself and another for you.
Your spouse is very concentrated on his\her wishes. He\she buys dresses he\she likes. But when you buy it, he\she feels it is a complete waste of money.
He\she likes to buy latest mobile phones. But you have to make do with your outdated mobile as he\she says they are still in good condition.
These are just a few examples. There are many more.
6. Your spouse never says thank you.
He\she is never thankful for whatever you do for the family.
It can be cooking, helping in household chores, or looking after the children.
He\she never says a simple thank you which would have made you feel valued by him\her.
7. Your spouse makes many plans without consulting you
You are taken aback when your spouse suddenly says “we are going to my friend’s house for dinner.”
Yes!
Your spouse makes plans for you without consulting you.
You might have had other plans. You might have planned for a shopping, or just planned to have your well deserved rest at home.
You feel you are being taken for granted by your spouse when he\she forcefully thrusts his\her plans on you.
8. Your spouse never gives you emotional support
Your spouse notices that you are looking tensed and stressed. But he\she never asks you the reason behind it.
You long for a word of consolation from him\her. You never get it.
You feel lonely and isolated from your spouse.
9. Your spouse spends too much time away from you
You want to spend quality time with your spouse. But he\she is not bothered about it.
Your spouse spends time on what he\she likes. It might be watching movies\browsing\playing video games. He\she does everything, except spending time with you.
10. Your spouse scarcely notices you
You might be in the same room with your spouse, but he\she doesn’t look at you. He\she is busy doing his\her thing.
When you talk with your spouse, he\she answers without looking directly at you. When there is no direct eye contact, you realize that your spouse is not acknowledging your presence.
Can you see how you are being taken for granted by your spouse?
When there is no thankfulness in your married life, it is no longer exciting. Slowly and surely, boredom and dullness settles down in your interaction.
What should you do to overcome the terrible impact, taken of granted has on your relationship?
Nourish your relationship by appreciating and acknowledging your spouse.
Let us suppose you sow a seed!
What happens if you not water it?
The seed withers without sprouting.
But suppose you water it!
The sprouts grow energetically.
When you keep giving the sprouts continuous nourishment, it takes root, branches out, and finally yields you fruits\flowers.
The seed is like your married life. Watering the sprout is like acknowledging your spouse. Persistent care of the sprout is like being thankful towards him\her.
When there is appreciation and thankfulness, your married life never bores you. You never feel you are being taken for granted by your spouse. It is as simple as that.
Leave a Reply