Your dominating mother–in–law makes the relationship with your husband highly stressed and tensed, doesn’t she?
You often argue with your husband about his mother, don’t you?
Do you know why?
- You resent her domination over your husband.
- You are angry at her blatant interference into your married life.
- You are annoyed when she emotionally blackmails your husband.
- You feel mad at her when she makes unwelcome advice to you about managing your family as if you know nothing about it.
“The mother-in-law frequently forgets that she was a daughter-in-law”- Unknown
Why is your dominating mother-in-law all commenting and interfering even though she knows you resent it?
It is because of her emotional insecurity.
Your mother- in- law feels she has extra rights over her son as she had brought him up amidst many hardships.
She had so far enjoyed the monopoly of your husband’s love without any contest from you.
When you enter into your husband’s life as the rightful partner, she feels her position as the all commanding mother in jeopardy.
When your dominating mother- in- law sees her hitherto clinging son being intimate with you she feels pangs of jealousy. She stamps you as an intruder to her hitherto unclaimed rights as the most important person in your husband’s life.
This is something your mother-in-law finds impossible to digest
So, your mother-in-law often instigates your husband against you.
She adds her own color to the minor misunderstandings that exist between you.
This is the reason a daughter- in- law and mother-in law relationship has always been thorny and prickly.
Dealing with your dominating mother-in-law is very easy if only you know the tricks.
1. Set your boundaries
You should definitely respect your mother-in-law.
She is not your enemy. But she is not your master also. She has no rights to dictate terms and conditions about how you should maintain your family.
It is your prerogative, not hers.
Make sure she does not interfere in your married life.
You have every right to lead your married life as you want to.
Your mother-in-law has done nothing for you. So, she also has no rights over you.
You should never let her take over your life. It will only complicate your relationship with your husband.
2. Know your priorities
Your husband and children are your top priority.
You married your husband to share his ups and downs throughout his life.
You did not marry him to look after his parents. It is his duty, not yours.
You have more rights over your husband than your mother-in-law.
Make sure she understands it.
There are times when your dominating mother-in-law insists that you must accept her as your family. And this is yet another reason you find it near impossible to tolerate her.
When she forgets that your roots are with your family, it is time to put your foot down. Never let her intrude into your relationship with your parents.
It is unbearable to you when your mother-in-law selfishly assumes that you should forgo your parents and accept her as your family just because you married her son.
3. Be emotionally detached
Your mother-in-law is not your mother. She is just the mother of your husband.
So, never expect love and care from her.
You will be disappointed.
Since you have no emotional connectivity with your dominating mother in- law, overlook her intolerable behavior.
Overlook her jealousy.
Overlook her negative comments about you.
Shove aside your mother-in-law’s unwarranted advice about the ways to look after her son. She does it deliberately to show that she knows your husband better than you.
It is all fine to say joint family is the best form of family life. But it has many drawbacks in this modern world. When your mother-in-law does not respect your emotional needs it is always better to live away from her.
When you do not suffer the agony of being with her, day in day out you feel less bitter towards her.
Never change yourself in fear of her biting tongue. It has direct negative impact in your relationship with your husband.
Never fear her. You have done nothing wrong to be terrified of her.
4.Talk to her directly
Should you take her insinuations against your family lightly?
You should not.
Should you ignore her instigating your husband against you?
A definite no.
Convey the message that you would not take her mean intention lightly.
Your voice should not shoot up aggressively. But be firm and steady.
Do not indulge in hysterics as it makes your mother-in law feel justified in demeaning you.
Avoid direct confrontation with her.
But get across the message that you respect your mother-in-law, but would not allow her messing up your married life.
5. Talk to your husband
Your husband plays ignorant to the tug of war that exists between you and his mother.
Tell him that you will never come between the love he has for his mother.
Make sure that you never interfere when your husband helps his mother financially. It is his duty. You have no right to intrude into it.
But, put your foot down when your husband wants his mother to be the deciding authority of your family.
Tell your husband that family problems should be sorted between both without the interference of your dominating mother-in-law.
Your mother-in-law too should respect your rights over your husband. She should step aside from her son if she wants you to respect her.
Conclusion
‘’Difference between law and in-law is you can justify yourself before law but never before in-laws”
When your dominating mother-in- law knows her limits you feel less resentful towards her.
But will she do it?
Mostly she wouldn’t. Not until your relationship with her goes beyond retrieval. This is what happens in most families.
Sad, isn’t it?
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Pooja Ojha says
Hello,
I am going through a traumatized state right now, I am 8 month pregnant, yet having quite strange experiences at home due to my mother in law’s unpredictable mood swings, her interference in my married life by constantly teaching my husband what to do , what not to do, constantly being too good to me on my face in presence of all but in absence of my husband critisizing me for my looks, dressings etc. I read your above article and it seems like a torch for me in the darkness, Thank you so much for writing such a crispy to the point and much wise piece of advise. I will be looking up to you for my concerns in future too.
Mathi says
Thank you Pooja. It feels good that you found my tips useful.
Ankita says
Hello,
I am in a very bad situation right now as my dominating mother in law always interfere in my married life and had been creating several arguments and fights between my husband and me. Husband blindly believes his mother and doesn’t realise it’s been done by her. He never wants to or allow me to speak against his mother. He spent two to three hrs separately with his mother without me and she cunningly speak against me to which my husband listen to. Result of which my husband fights for any small issue with me. Now she had left me at my home and had controlled my husband not to speak with me.
I read ur article and it gives me ray of hope, please advise what to do in such situation
Mathi says
Ankita,
I feel sad for you. Don’t fear your mother in law. She is feeling emotionally insecure that you might take her son away from her. This is the reason she is turning your husband against you.
Your husband will listen to his mother only when he feels isolated from you. So, you should make your husband turn towards you by doing things he likes. Be loving and caring towards him.
Be presentable at home so that your husband is attracted to you. When you are humourous your husband will love being with you. I know it is not easy. But you have to do it by being patient with your husband who seems to be a mama’s boy.
Never become a cry baby. Your mother in law will feel sadistically happy that she has made you unhappy.
Never make your mother in law feel that you will take her son away from her. Try to be friendly with her. But if she turns away from you, keep a dignified distance from her.
I don’t know how long you have been married. Sometimes in the initial stages of your marriage, your husband will listen to his mother more as he might want to make her feel that he still loves her.
But after a few years your husband will understand that his life is with you. He will then know that he must love his mother but not allow her to demean you.
Be patient for your husband to change for the better.
Be courageous when you interact with your mother in law so that she knows that you cannot be played around with. in fact, your power over your husband is more than that of your mother in law. The only thing is that you should know how to use the power. Good luck.
T says
My son and his girlfriend are having a baby together. Currently they live at both houses until his gf got sick. Her mother is now suggesting for the rest of the pregnancy, the gf cannot come to our house because of gf having to take meds daily. Our son will be deploying for services while his child will be born until the baby is 5 months old. The mother of girlfriend said “we can only see the baby on supervised visits for a couple of hours at a time.” How can I explain that the visits should not be mandated by the mother but by the girlfriend. This mom is super controlling to the point the gf does not own a car because the mother too it away.. help
Mathi says
Hi,
It is true that the parents of your son’s girlfriend cannot refuse you the rightful visit to see your grandchild. But you can do nothing about it. It is the girl who should react to it. You should talk to her and not to the mother. A mother can control her daughter only when she allows herself to be controlled.So the fault lies with your son’s girlfriend.
Talk to the girl about your problems. The remedy to your problems lies with her.
Dakshita says
We live with our in laws. my mother in law is extremely dominating. and insecure. everyday since last 1 year, there hasn’t been a single day that she smiled at me in the morning also . I get up and go and hug her every morning, and she hugs me back dryly without a smile and forces a greeting. instead, she smiles and laughs and meets everyone else. it spoils my mornings. she asks me to touch my father in law’s feet even though I believed that a light hug is what I have been used to in my house. she expects me to do all the stupid jobs of the house like asking everyone what they would want to eat but never ever asks me about my needs and doesn’t care about me at all. my husband is always running after her and trying to please her because she starts shouting or crying whenever she doesn’t have her way . and when I tell him anything, he tells me to adjust and tells me that he will compensate for his mother. she controls all the finances of the house and because she earns more than me at present, I feel she keeps mentioning that to me also , all the time. I just feel irritated most days because I was raised in a happy household where people laughed and we had freedom and financial independence . I feel like I’m wasting my life . my husband is a terrific person but he doesn’t take my mood swings even half as well as his mother’s tantrums everyday. and he is ok with apologising and pleasing his mother all the time. I had adopted the practice of ignoring her since last few months and I can say that it helps me most of the times, but sometimes I just get extremely frustrated and feel like leaving. I don’t think she will ever let me be.
Mathi says
Hi Dakshika,
Your situation is commonly found in a joint family. You should definitely respect your mother-in-law. But trying to please her will only make her tighten her hold on you and your husband.
Does your mother in law control the money you earn? If so, you should never allow it as it will lead to many disagreement between you and your husband. You are feeling that you are wasting your life because you are being controlled by her.
The way your mother in law behaves shows that she emotionally insecure. That is her problem, not yours. You should talk to your husband about your feelings. Don’t take it lightly as it could affect your relationship with your husband eventually. Respecting and loving his parents does not mean your husband should stay with them. He can love and respect them even if he stays away from them.
I don’t know if your husband will agree to live independently. If he agrees, solutions to all your problems are there. If he does not agree, at least make sure that your mother in law does not mess up your married life.
Rashmi says
Recently married (7 months) .My mother in law dom inates and controls a lot. she wants everything to be placed as per her wish.even if there is a singly mistake, she gets angry and shouts.her voice is very loud. when she comes after shopping, she is tired. she found single mistake, she vent her all frustration towards me. i tell her to tell slowly. she does not listen. she says my voice is like this only. even husband agrees her voice is like that. But i cannot bear loud voice..husband says she tells loudly to everybody.
she is very controlling.. if you stay with her, she will direct every actions.
I go for a job.It is very difficult to stay with her at home. husband supports me but he is in her control.
in kitchen she wants everything to be as per her. if single thing i kept some where else, she gets irritated and shouts.
How to deal her and adjust in family. husband wants to stay with her only. she has suffer lot of problems in her earlier life. she doesnt has money. she has money from last 3 years only. she is very proudy.
Mathi says
Hi Rashmi,
You are allowing yourself to be dominated by your mother in law. She has no right to behave with you in such a manner. She will never dare to act in this manner if your set your own boundaries.
The voice of your mother in law can be loud. But the way she tries to control you is the main disconcerting thing about her. From what you have written it can be plainly seen.
that your mother in law wants to control you.
Your husband has every right to want to live with his mother. But he is duty bound towards you also. He should make sure that his mother does not ill treat you. He owes you this much of love. Setting boundaries is the only way to solve your problems. It is not going to be easy but it should be done.
Rashmi says
Madam how to set boundaries. How to stop her from ill treating me.
Mathi says
Hi Rahsmi,
Never allow your mother in law to interfere into your family life. When she does so, you should tell her pointblank that you do not like it.
Tell your husband that you can only respect your mother in law but you will never allow her to take over your life.
The way you behave with your mother in law should make her understand that you will give it back to her if she trespasses into your personal life.
What I am implying is that your mother in law is a person to be respected but she is not a person who can decide your life.
Priya says
If your husband is a Mama’s boy and if the mama (mil) is a devil straight from hell aka a dominating, manipulative, schemey and nasty.. RUN for your life and run far.
If you are working and have kids, find a good daycare and manage life. If you are not working, go to a lawyer and find your options.
Whatever it is, do not waste your life being unhappy and sad. These mils will kill your self esteem and confidence. As you get older you will become better and sad.
Think of you. You deserve better. All the best.
Manasi says
Hi,
My mother-in-law is very dominating person, even though I’m engineer by profession I can’t do job because of her as she clearly told me that she would not be able to manage all household works. Post dat some months she was ok. But now she has started behaving horrible. This has started since when my husband got other job in Bangalore and we live in Thane. She feels insecured as we might ( me n my son with husband) get shift to Bangalore.
She dig out small small things in me,. compare me with other girls in family and frequently tont me about my parents. I feel so bad and depressed, feel like jus don’t see her face at all. She behaves different Infront of everyone and different in front of me.
Reading ur blog it feels like m not alone who are facing such situations, but why so…..??
Diya says
Hi
I was working in Bangalore when we got married. And my husband is working in another city close by. I used make all the attempts to travel to see him and ensure that I am there for my in laws by my own expenses.
But found out that my husband sometimes keeps getting angry with me and used to use ill words. I later realized that this was all happening because of my mother in Law. I made adjustments with my company and came to the same city as my husband and now wfh and now myself and my husband are good. But my mother in law keeps calling the house hers. She comes to our room and picks little things and says things are not maintained well, that is dirty. I ensure that things are kept clean how much I can. I do even sweeping and swooning of the floor. The room that she is in also gets dirty, but her attention is all towards our room. I told her that Let’s keep a maid for sweeping and swobbing and I will pay her but she says they don’t clean properly. I am anxious to touch anything in the house, thinking it might spoil. Apart from this I am also contributing for grocery and maintenance of this house.My mother in law is very manipulating My parents live far from this city, i was previously in USA. I want to focus on my careers and go where there might be opportunity but I am stuck in all these and can’t move out from this city.
Mathi says
Hi Diya,
Your mother in law is crossing her boundaries. Your room is your personal domain. She just cannot enter it at her will. It seems that you are wee bit frightened of your mother in law. There is absolutely no need for it. You should respect her but should never allow her to intrude into your personal life.
You cannot enjoy your married life if you feel nervous in your own house.
Don’t be servile towards her. Be confident when you talk with her. When you are assertive, you will be amazed to see your mother in law resist from too much intruding into your life.
Peace says
It’s been almost more than 10 years for our marraige. My MIL started showing her arrogance and dominance even during our courtship days, but still got married as we (me & my husband loved each other). It was a hell for me after marraige, her dominance, my husband supporting her, father-in-law supporting her, me being kind of submissive in behaviour endured everything. Although we moved overseas & my in-laws are in India, her interference & insinuation against me & my family never stopped, it affected our relation even we being overseas, that powerful my MIL is. I was all dependent on my husband financially so I endured all for my kids, his abusive behaviour & everything. Slowly things started getting better, I got a well paid job, my husband realised his mistakes supported me in my further studies & now showers love on me, my in-laws also were kind of good to me, helped us financially to buy house here, but her arrogance & expectations still exists.
Recently when they visited us I found them quite resentful about something which they never revealed to me. But after living so many years with them, I can easily feel the vibes. They were pretending to be OK with me but I know they had something going in their mind. They would normally never praise my sister-in-law (my husbands brother’s wife) so profoundly but they did it like almost everyday but never me while they were here, even my husband noticed it & felt bad & something unusal. They even told us that they are not planning to stay here with us indefinetly which was good news to us. But I definitely know they were doing this to provoke me into fight. Howvever after getting fed up I just showed gestures of anger to them on their last day. My FIL sensed the situation & started talking to me nicely that night, but I know he will be different next day. My husband told me that he had a good talk with them & expressed how we felt about their behaviour. Me & my sister-in-law have a very good relationship & I know my MIL did this kind to her early during her (my sister in-laws) marraige life.
Howvever they tried to convience my husband that it was unintentional & that you guys misunderstood us.
My husband was almost gonna fall for them but I was firm & told him everyday…Its not unintentional….. She wanted fight.. Nextday I said bye to both of them as they were living to Airport my FIL replied but not my MIL.
She expressed with her gestures that she was sad..
When they reached home we called & talked of whereabouts although I never felt like talking to them I just did it may to keep everyone happy. Then came pandemic all lockdown, MIL was sick so they are now deciding to shift with us forever………TRAGEDY………Now I am so upset & depressed that I don’t even know what to do…..I am literally SCARED…..I expressed my feeling with my husband but I can understand his situation he can’t say NO to them……….Because we all know very well she will continue playing games………My husband has been assuring me of his support…….But I can’t trust her & my husbands weak point is my FIL they love each other very much so she uses FIL to influence my husband. So is a big problem trusting my husbands support, he can be easily manipulated by both FIL & MIL
To be very honest I don’t want them in my house anymore, because now actually my life has started getting on track & we are actually living in peace. I told my husband that at this stage I don’t even want to talk to them because I never felt like talking to them after this incident but I did just to keep things at ease. But their decision of coming back to us has caused mental harm to me, so just recently I decided not to talk to them this makes me feel better.
Currently I am not speaking with them on phone, but they don’t know that I actually don’t want to talk to them. My husband is OK with this at this stage & he calls them when I am at work (although I am working from home & I can hear what he discusses with them) don’t know how long he will be OK with this as he is bit emotional towards his parents. However I am kind of confused whether should I stop talking to them or just let things continue & keep talking to them even if I don’t want to.
My main reason not talking to them is to express that their behaviour will not be tolerated anymore & the consequence is breaking ties with them. I want to show my strength & power.
Sometimes I am firm but again I start giving second thought.
Mathi says
Hi,
The behavior of your mother in law shows her emotional insecurity. Most mothers in law feel that their daughter in law is threat to the relationship they have with their sons. Though it is wrong it happens everywhere around the world. You need not worry about it. They praised your sister in law just to provoke you. This too is a normal happening. Close your ears to it.
But the plans of your in laws to stay with you will not be conducive to you. Gone are the days when women were meek and submissive towards their mothers in law. If you allow your in laws to stay with you, you will have constant fights with your husband regarding them. He will lose his peace and you will also lose your peace and independence. Caring for your parents does not mean they should be with you 24\7.
Your father in law is there to look after your mother in law. So be firm in rejecting their intention of staying with you. But do not be hostile towards them. This will make your husband very unhappy. He has his duties towards his parents. Tell him that you will never come in between his relaionship with his parents. But make sure he understands that you want your independence intact. Be cordial with them when they visit you, but be firm that they cannot be part of your daily life.
Rims says
My in law always wanted to put me down …whatever good thing we have done for her she always makes it in a nagative way …she never want to be happy with us …i think willingly…she always makes a way to waste my study time in other things …n never listen to others …she is always superior to everyone specially me …and don’t respect my family too…she always say cheap thngs about my family …she never like when my parents call me …but she is always hanging with her phone with her daughters… every day i just control my self but whenever i try to explain why u doing such thing …thn she call her doughters and say lots of things and they angain call me and never wanted to listen my prblm …and always says it’s my house…it’s not your home …but we get married according to her choice also thn why she is doing such way …! For this reason sometimes I feel depressed…and insecure …my husband support me but he also afraid of her so at last …he have no choice how to solv the prblm…
Mathi says
Hi,
The problem you are facing with your in laws is very common in India. Your mother in law has no business to talk ill of your family. You should tell her in no uncertain terms that you will not allow it. What she thinks of you is her business. You should not worry about it. Don’t be servile towards her. Do not let her dominate you. It is a good thing that your husband supports you. The only solution to your problem is to live independently. This way you can do away with many misunderstanding you have with your in laws and you can live your married life as you want to. This will not happen immediately. It takes time. You have to wait patiently until then.
Jazz sebastian says
My mother in law is very dominating she wants to control me like she wants me to do all house work alone the way she does , she wants me to take her permission before going at my parents house, she compares herself n her family with my family, she uses wrong statements for my family. Even If I do everything she never appreciates she tries to take away my things and give to her married daughter like clothes etc. which her son bought me n my husband never refuse as he doesn’t want his mother n sister to get upset he does this without my permission he force me to give my things his mother always tells my husband that even if u have your wife now u still have to fulfill our responsibilities including married sister ,I just got married 1 month ago n my husband is out of city she behave like this wd me but I first time replied her when she was shouting at me I’m confused whether i did right or wrong she said if u will go at ur place wdout my permission I’ll let u in when I want to don’t know wat to do in this
Mathi says
My dear Jazz,
I feel sad that you are allowing your mother in law to dictate your life. You can only respect her. But you should in no way allow her to take over your life. She has no business to give your things to her married daughter. Your things are your own and no one has any right over it. Put a full stop to it. You should talk about this to your husband. Otherwise this is going to affect your married life in a real bad way.
Why do you want to do all the work by yourself? You are not a maid. Share the household work of your mother in law. If your mother in law loads you with all the work, do not do it.Do your work and refrain from being an unpaid maid of the household.
Your husband has duties towards his mother and not towards his married sister. She has her husband to look after her. And most important of all, your husband has his duties towards you also.
Don’t fear your mother in law. Your fear is her strength. There is nothing wrong in answering back if she is being dominating and controlling. Set your boundaries immediately. Your husband should also know that you cannot be toyed along. When you are confident and when you show that no can dictate terms and conditions with you, your mother in law will think twice before meddling with you.
And never allow her to bad mouth about your family. She has no rights to do it.
Only you can come out of your problem. Don’t be submissive and meek. Don’t be arrogant also. Just show your mother in law that you married her son to live with him and not to be dictated upon by her.
Ankita G says
Hi Mathi,
My MIL never involves in any household chores. I am working from home these days but it’s seriously getting hard day be day to even cook for all and do dishes. We have maid for Cleaning. I don’t like that my MIL never participates in any household chore. She’s not that she’s 61 year Old.
Whenever my husband ask her to help me she yells at him and tell him that don’t ask me to do anything.
Even though she’s getting pension 30,000 P.M. she demands money or things from my husband that’s okay as he’s her Son she have that rights. But She ask me to pay her bills when my husband is not around. she asked me to buy a washing machine and she ask me to pay her beauty parlor bills and bear her stitching expenses and many more. On the other hand she give a loads of money to her daughters from her pension.
Is this behaviour Okay or What should I DO?
Mathi says
Ankita,
In a joint family household chores should be shared. Of course, your mother in law cannot do all the work as she has aged. But she should help you. This is the time you should be assertive. You do your share of work and withdraw from the scene. Don’t let the yelling of your mother in law disturb you in anyway.
You should discuss with your husband about the financial commitments that should be shared by you. You and your husband should give the discussed amount to your mother in law and keep the rest for yourself.
You need not pay for her stitching charges and beauty parlor charges. You can plainly refuse. Only when you keep giving will your mother in law keep demanding money from you. Put your foot down now itself.
Anyonymous says
Hello I am 6 month pregnant now and my mother in law dominates me every time she interfere in our personal married life. She dominates me regarding my clothes every time what should i wear and not as I think its our personal choice but i can not say directly to her due to I can not say everything on her face and it keeps in my mind. I can not say this to my husband as well because he says let it be every time when i complain about her to him as my husband is the only child to my parents in law. I want to stay separate because she interfere every time in small things its so ridiculous.. She dont talk to me frankly everytime she complains about my things whatever i am doing she feel like i am wrong.. Whatever it is she dominates me in each and every small things.. Please help me out in this as I m thinking too much during pregnancy,.. I am not enjoying my pregnancy due to her only…
Mathi says
Hi,
The problem lies with you. How can you allow your mother-in-law to dictate about what you wear? She has no rights to do it. If you continue allow her to dominate you, it is going to have an adverse effect in your relationship with your husband.
Is your mother-in-law dependent on your husband for her day to day survival?
If so, your husband is duty bound to look after her.
But if your father in law is alive he can look after her.
Your husband can provide for his parents and he can live independently with you. Living away from parents does not mean you do not love them. Your husband should understand it. And it is you who have to decide what is good for your life. Act and decide for yourself.
Unknown says
Hello, My Mother in law is dominating from the beginning only. Before I was thinking that If I am good to her she will be good also and I was never reverting back to any of his bad comments. She always complains to me that I am not doing anything not cooking good Food not cleaning the house, but the truth is I am working 9 to 6 in the office, every morning I cook separately for my mother-in-law and father-in-law,I make breakfast also.I do grocery also for my home and I have two kids one is 11 and another is 5 I take care of them also, the night also cooking ironing clothes all work I do then also she complain that your family is not doing cleaning so you are same and you are not doing anything. Always shouting and talking to me like I am a servant.I am that much hardworking that my condition is like my one hand needs surgery because of Carpel tunnel syndrome. Then also I do everything never complain to her or everyone. Sometimes I don’t eat food also my hemoglobin is very low even though I do not complain to anyone. but she has no humanity to think of all these every time she is complaining only. she doesn’t want me to do shopping, make friends, and room around with them. she doesn’t want me to wear clothes of my choice. but her daughter has full freedom of all these things. My mother-in-law has never received support from her husband so every time she is shouting at me. Because of all these I keep on crying every time and became so week. My husband also says leave the job and stay at home as u are not able to do all this work together, but I work to get rid of her if I stop working and sit at home then what she will do I don’t know. when she is in good mood she will talk nicely but that is a rare case. Kindly advise what to do as my kids are suffering because of that and my husband will not get separated from my mother-in-law. whenever I go out with my husband she is shouting as she wants me to spend Friday for house cleaning, as other days I am in ofc. We have one maid also for brush Mop and one time utensils even then she wants me to be behind the maid always for cleaning. Daily at night also she is doing late because of that we sleep at 1 and getting up again at 5:30. I am becoming mad of all these, slowly my mind is not working and I forget a lot of things like every time my mind thinks now I have to do this and that.
Please help
Mathi says
Hi,
I find it strange that you are allowing your mother in law to ill treat you.
First things first, never ever leave your job as suggested by your husband. When you are not financially independent, your life will become even more torturous. So, your job is your self-respect. Do not even consider leaving it.
Now for your mother in law.
Your mother in law is ill treating you because you are allowing her to do it. Do not be so submissive and meek. You will not be able to handle it. You should speak out against her domination. Only then can you be relieved off her torture.
You should also tell your husband that you will not take the abuse of his mother lightly.
Unless you retaliate, you cannot come out of this problem. Do it, as otherwise you will continue to feel depressed and miserable. It is your life. ACT NOW.