Do you know good relationship with your in-laws indirectly helps your marriage?
It is because your spouse feels comfortable and relaxed when his\her parents\siblings are respected by you.
But sadly, good relationship with your in-laws has become near impossible for you to achieve.
You always view your in-laws with tons of misunderstanding and misinterpretation, don’t you?
I am sure you would agree to the fact that if there is a tensed relationship in your life, it is with your in-laws.
Yes!
You have so many problems with your in-laws that you often lock horns with your spouse.
Why do you find it impossible to have good relationship with your in-laws?
When you marry your spouse, your in-laws become your extended family. But you are unable to find your roots with them.
In fact, you feel so isolated from your in-laws that you are often resentful that they are needless intruders into your personal life with your spouse.
And you also feel that your in-laws are not ordinary intruders. You feel your in-laws are intruders out to destroy your marital happiness.
Relationship problems with in-laws does not exist in isolated parts of the world. It exists just about everywhere in the world.
It is a blunt truth that relationship with your in-laws is not built on love or affection.
It is a relationship which is forced on you through your marriage. So, your connection with your in-laws is built on obligatory and compulsive respect. So, you do not feel emotional connection with them.
You often feel that you cannot be truly affectionate with your in-laws, don’t you?
What are the real reasons behind your wariness about your in-laws?
- You feel that your in-laws instigate your spouse against you.
- You feel they curtail your freedom.
- You feel your in-laws are too interfering.
- You are angry that your in-laws are always judging you.
Can you see how your resentful feelings against your in-laws make it a very wary relationship?
It is a harsh fact that most of you do not have cordial relationship with your in-laws. In fact, your relationship with them is artificial and stilted.
You are forced to put on a façade of respect which you do not feel, affection which you do not have and a hospitality which you do not feel like extending to them.
You are wrong in feeling so.
You must understand that your in-laws are the parents\siblings of your spouse. Though you are wary of them, you just cannot avoid them.
Unless you give your in-laws due respect, your spouse will definitely build up resentment against you.
Here are some simple tricks to build good relationship with your in-laws
1. Give your in laws due respect
You might have loads of differences with your in-laws. But it in no way gives you the right to disrespect them.
You often insult your in-laws by ignoring their very presence. You needlessly make them feel that they are intruders.
Do you know your indifferent attitude towards your in-laws makes your spouse very unhappy?
This is not good for your marriage.
So, give due respect to your in-laws.
When your in-laws interact with you, listen to what they have to say to you. Even though you might be bored with what they are saying, do not turn away when they are interacting with you.
Never ever back bite about your in-laws to your spouse. He\she will definitely feel resentful and unhappy.
2. Show your in-laws excellent hospitality
Most of you feel terribly upset when your in-laws visit you. It is because you feel your privacy will be plucked away from you.
You are angry when all your activities come under the scanning eyes of your in-laws.
You are so resentful against your in-laws that you show them that you do not want them with you.
Never ever do it.
Do not have such baseless doubts about your in-laws. Because if you doubt your in-laws, they will forever remain outsiders to you.
When you expect your spouse to give your parents excellent hospitality, it is only natural that he\she expects the same from you.
Be friendly with your in-laws and do not allow them to feel lonely and lost.
Make your in-laws feel at home.
Do not glare at your spouse when he\she spends time with his\her parents. It is indecency on your part if you do so.
Your spouse has all the right to spare time for his\her parents\siblings.
3. Communicate with your in-laws
Most of you never talk with your in-laws as though they were your enemies.
When you stop interacting with your-in laws you will never understand them.
When you look glum with your in-laws, the heat that radiates between you makes your spouse feel unhappy and scalded.
Never have stilted conversation with your in-laws. It makes your spouse feel uneasy and edgy.
Communicate with your in laws about topics which interest them.
4. Never poison your children against your in-laws
Most of you hold your children as a trump card to isolate your in-laws. You say wrong things about your in-laws to them.
And if your children believe in you, they become antagonistic against their grandparents\aunts\uncles.
When they stop loving their grandparents the loser are your children. They lose the warm love of their grandparents from their mother\father side.
5.Have reasonable expectations about your in-laws
You do not have good relationship with your in-laws because you expect a parent in your in-laws. This is a grave mistake you often make.
You always compare your in-laws with your parents.
This is the reason you feel that your in-laws lack true love for you. You are indignant that they have done nothing for you that you should love them.
So, stop having emotional expectations about your in-laws. Understand that they cannot love you like your parents.
Treat them friendliness without having any expectations about them.
6. Set your boundaries
Setting boundaries does not mean that you are throwing away your in-laws from your life.
Unless there are boundaries, your relationship with your in-laws might go to the point of no return.
So, set clear boundaries so that your in-laws would think twice before stepping into your personal life.
Conclusion
“It’s great if the in-laws themselves put up boundaries. But if they won’t, it’s up to their grown kids to do it and enforce them.” Phil McGraw
Can you see that it is very possible to have good relationship with your in-laws?
When you cease to treat them like intruders, you will find it easy to be friendly with them.
Respecting and treating your in laws with love and care is the simplest way to make your spouse happy and content.
It is not a tall order by any means, is it?
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