Being married to an emotionally immature husband, is an experience you would never want to happen to you in your married life.
When you marry your husband, you expect certain rights and liberties in your married life. You did not marry, to look after your husband. You married your husband to live your marriage as an equal partner. You strongly believe, that family responsibilities are not for you alone. Your husband has an equal share in it.
When your husband act immature and irresponsible in your married life, you cannot believe it happening to you. You did not expect, that you will be experiencing such immature behavior from him.
You have every right to expect equal contribution from your husband, to handle your long procession of family issues and problems. Managing family life without the help of your husband is really be tough on you.
Your energy level hits the rock bottom, as you struggle to look after your children, your financial commitments and also providing for your family, without the help of your husband.
When your husband makes you handle all your family issues alone, he becomes a further burden on your already sagging shoulders. Your husband is so immature, that he does not care about his family duties.
When your husband is emotionally immature, he acts selfish. He thinks only about himself. He wants to lead a comfortable life, even if it meant pressurizing you. He does not have a stable job, as his immature mind does not understand how much it means to the financial stability of his family.
Whenever your husband is home, he whiles away his time doing nothing. He does not even put a show of helping you in your household chores. Though he well knows about the financial needs of the family, he does not contribute to it.
Not only does your husband provide for his family, he leeches you off your hard-earned money to fulfill his selfish needs. It you argue with your husband about his immature behavior, he throws such a tantrum that you feel you should not have opened your mouth.
- You cannot consult your husband about any family issues, as he does not have a decisive mind.
- He always blames you, as the reason behind all your family problems.
- You cannot reason with your husband, as he would not listen to you.
Handling your immature husband is quite tough on you, when he displays such irritating behaviors towards you.
Married life is always the responsibility of you and your husband. Just like a railway track which runs parallel all through its journey, you and your husband should travel in all the ups and downs of your life, holding hands in love. Otherwise, it would be tough manage your family life.
But your husband is not supportive towards you, emotionally or financially. When your husband acts uncaring and irresponsible towards you, it is time you took some firm actions. You should not let things drift along, with your husband taking advantage of your kindness and love for him.
Shall we have a look at the things you should do to manage your emotionally immature husband?
No 1. Way of managing your emotionally husband is making him accountable
Though your immature husband is irresponsible, you cannot let him have his way. If you allow the irresponsibility of your husband to take root, you will find it tough to lead your married life, normally.
Though your husband feels that he is not duty bound towards you, you should not let it happen. You might not be able to make your husband responsible, but you should give him certain responsibilities.
- Do not make the mistake of playing a mother to your emotionally immature husband.
- Do not shield your husband from family duties.
When you do so, your husband will take advantage of your kindness and understanding.
You should make your immature husband responsible towards his family, by allocating him duties which should be done only by him. It might even be small duties like paying a bill, buying groceries or taking the children to school.
When you allocate your husband certain family duties, make sure only he does it. Even a small help from your husband, will take a wee bit of family duties away from your shoulders.
Your husband might try to dodge even these tiny duties, but you must be stubborn enough to see that he fulfills it.
No 2. Way of managing your emotionally immature husband is by pinpointing his mistakes
Your immature husband will never accept, that he made mistakes. He has that much of an uncanny ability to shift all blame on you. He is also adept in making you the culprit behind all your family problems.
- If it is a financial problem, your husband blames that you spend money recklessly.
- If it is a relationship problem, your husband makes it seem as though you were the sole reason behind it.
He is shameless enough to make it seem, that he has done nothing wrong, and every wrong was done by you.
You should not meekly listen to your husband listing out false blames against you. You should firmly tell your husband, that he cannot take it for granted that you will always be forgiving and forgetting. You must warn your husband that if he does not rectify himself, you might walk out of him.
- Do not plead with your husband to be responsible.
- Do not cry to show how much you are affected by the behavior of your husband.
- When you are too submissive, your husband will understand that he has you in his hold.
When your husband throws temperamental tantrums, do not get upset. Instead, maintain stoic silence to show your husband, that he cannot make you pliable to his unreasonable demands.
When your husband realizes that you will not buckle to his attempts to demoralize you, he will definitely retreat back in alarm.
No 3. Way of managing your emotionally immature husband is by not allowing him to have his way
Your immature husband is very tricky and cunning. He knows how to upset you. He clearly understands, that you do not like your neighbors to know your shame.
So, your husband yells at the top of his voice, so that your neighbors could hear him raining profanities on you. His temperamental tantrums are his weapon to bring you into submission to do whatever he wants.
- You should not buckle into submission to his show of violence.
- You must understand that he is the abuser, and you are the victim.
So, do not show your husband that his violent behavior is rattling your confidence. You should hold yourself away from your husband. When you act assertively, it will throw your immature husband off guard.
No 4. Way of managing your emotionally immature husband is by refusing to submit to his emotional blackmail.
Your immature husband often threatens you of dire consequences if you do not listen to his threats.
- Many a time, your husband threatens to run away from you.
- There are times he emotionally blackmails you, that he would commit suicide if you do not listen to him.
- Your husband consistently issues warnings, that he will divorce you.
- He also stays away from home to you make you go mad with worry.
Your husband feels, that in you fear that he might leave you, you will do whatever he demands from you. You must understand that the threats of your husband are empty and nothing to worry about. Your spineless husband cannot survive without you.
Your husband threatens you, just to show you that he will go to any extremes to have you in his hold. Do not worry that your husband will run away, as he well knows he has no one to support or provide for him.
No 5. Way of managing your emotionally immature husband is by being understanding
If you look at the root cause behind the immaturity of your husband, you will be astounded to see many pathetic reasons behind it.
- Your husband might have had a miserable childhood.
- He could have been a victim of abusive parents.
- He might have spent his childhood days in abject poverty.
- He might have experienced tons of failures and rebuffs all through his life.
Since your husband grew up with many complexities, he does not know the true values of life. He has not been brought up to be confident, or mature.
CONCLUSION
When you behave high handedly with your husband, he will lose whatever confidence he has. This does not mean you should act motherly to his faults. But you must make your husband realize, that you are ready to help him if he tries to overcome his complexities.
If your husband does not listen to you and continues with his immature behavior, you must turn your attention to making yourself happy. When your husband understands that he cannot bring you to your knees, he might relent and try to be of help.
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