Being married to an alcoholic husband is a traumatic experience which you wish never happened to you, isn’t it?
Yes!
When your husband is addicted to alcohol, his near psychopath behavior makes you feel at loss as to why you married him at all.
“I am worried sick by the obsession of my husband for drinking” Janaki, a woman from my neighborhood was telling me.
“When I asked my husband about his addiction, he told me that he has that much of work related problems that only drinking can make him forget it” Janaki sighed with unhappiness.
“My husband promised me that he will stop drinking as soon as his work-related problems is solved” Janaki looked dejected.
“Work-related problems are not an excuse for drinking” I told her worryingly.
“My husband has many reasons for his addiction for drinking. Work related problems, failures, just one last time, giving company to friends and many new reasons keep cropping up daily. It is now I realize that he is an alcoholic” tears welled in the eyes of Janaki.
I could only feel sorry for her as the alcoholism of her husband will definitely be a traumatic experience for her.
It is a fact that being married to an alcoholic husband robs your happiness in many ways.
Not a day passes without your husband creating scenes which makes you want to yell at him to get lost from your life.
But in your love for your husband, you still cling on to your marriage even though you know that your situation is hopeless.
There are 6 sensitive things you should stop doing when you are married to an alcoholic husband
1. Stop blaming yourself
Your alcoholic husband hides his fault by being unreasonably blaming towards you. He often quotes you as the reason behind his obsessive drinking.
“It is your arbitrary and dominating behavior that is making me drink. Before marrying you, I never touched drinks. Only after marriage, have I started drinking,” your alcoholic husband often goes on a blaming spree about you.
Never let the untruthful blaming of your husband disturb you emotionally.
You should stop blaming yourself as you have nothing to do with the destructive habit of your alcoholic husband. He is the culprit for getting entrenched into his health draining habit. You are in no way to be blamed.
Your husband is an adult and no can make him indulge in compulsive drinking except his obsession towards it.
Keep your cool as you need to be calm to deal with the situation.
As it is, your married life is torturous and agonizing. So, do not drain your energy even more by making yourself the culprit behind the alcoholism of your husband.
2. Playing the martyr
When you are married to an alcoholic husband, you play the role of the martyr as you feel it is your duty to be protective towards him.
Never ever do it.
The one suffering from the alcoholic behavior of your husband is you and not him. Your husband is a victim to his own fault. You have nothing to do with it.
So, do not become a savoir to the misdeed of your husband.
Show your husband in no uncertain terms that you will never be the all sacrificing wife.
3. Giving in to the emotional blackmail of your husband
You love your husband so much so that you easily give in to his emotional blackmail.
Your husband often says that he is feeling depressed about his work-related problems and this is the reason he is indulging in drinking. And he will stop his drinking habit after his problems are solved.
But your husband finds new reasons to continue his drinking spree.
When your husband keeps changing his reasons for drinking time and again, you are at your wits end. You become confused and muddled up not knowing whether to believe him or not.
Trying to bring your husband come out of his drinking habit, you allow him to drink within reasonable limits. But your alcoholic husband does not know his limits and drowns himself in alcohol.
If your husband is truly willing to come out of his drinking habit, he would not keep indulging in it.
So, do not trust your alcoholic husband to change. Be practical enough to understand that your husband is emotionally blackmailing you.
4. Stop shielding your husband
You are terrified at the stigma attached to the obsession of your husband. You do not want your shame to go beyond your home.
So, you never talk about the drinking obsession of your husband to anyone. You feel your married life will become the target of gossip if others knew that you are unluckily married to an alcoholic husband.
You are doing it all wrong.
When you become shielding, your husband literally thrives in your protectiveness.
Your husband knows that however much he drinks, he will be protected and shielded by you.
Never ever be like this.
You should talk to a person who cares for you. You should share your trauma with that person. It will relieve your mental torture in a telling manner.
5. Putting off rehabilitating your husband
You often put off rehabilitating your husband as his addiction would become an open secret to your friends\relatives.
Understand that you have done nothing wrong. You are the victim. Your husband is the accused.
No one in their decent mind would make your problem a gossiping topic.
You should act fast in rehabilitating your husband before it ruins his health in an irrevocable manner.
Conclusion
“That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”-Charles Bukowski
Can you see that you should stop suffering silently when you are married to an alcoholic husband?
You must react and react fast. Any needless delay might entrench your life into a deep valley of distress.
Understand that your alcoholic husband is suffering from a mental disorder.
Never feel ashamed about the social stigma attached to the drinking obsession of your husband.
This society is not going to live with your alcoholic husband. It is you who has to suffer the repercussions arising out of the obsessive drinking habit of your husband.
So, avoid protecting your husband. Act promptly to bring him to senses.
It will be an uphill task, but you have to do it if you want to save your marriage.
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNrT3KOkTU5ITQMyYnVsxGQ
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