Unless you stop your arguments from intensifying, you cannot hope to make your marriage work.
Arguments and fights are part and parcel of your married life. Couples who say that they do not argue, are only lying. When two people from diversified family background unite in a marriage bond, it is only natural that they have differences of opinion. It just cannot be avoided, in any relationship.
But you must be cautious to prevent your arguments from escalating above the danger level. If you allow your arguments to border into a war sort of an atmosphere between you, it will pulverize your marriage into dust. Continuous arguments between you, will only make your relationship hostile and tensed. If you continue to allow your arguments to flourish and thrive, all the goodness of your marriage will be destroyed.
You also make the biggest blunder; your relationship cannot afford to experience. You stop communicating with your partner, to avoid needless confrontation with him\her. When you do not talk with each other, you will not understand what is in your partner’s mind and he\she will not understand what is in your mind.
You are not living with your enemy, that you should treat your partner as someone you should constantly fight with. Your ego will in no way be crushed, when you adjust and adapt to your partner. Making your relationship feel heavenly or hellish, is entirely in your hands.
Shall we now look at the 5 intelligent ways to stop your arguments from intensifying?
No 1. Intelligent ways to stop your arguments from intensifying – Understand that your partner will be different from you
Most of your arguments with your partner is because both are totally different in the way you look at your relationship. Your attitude towards your married life, is often different from that of your partner. You do not take these differences, as part and parcel of your relationship. Instead, you boil over with intense anger against your partner, as though he\she has done you great injustice.
The way you react to the differences of your partner, is quite unreasonable. You degrade the way your partner does his\her work, as it is different from yours. You make derisive comments about the ways your partner approaches life, as it differs from your viewpoint.
Your partner will definitely be different from you. When you accept the differences your partner exhibits, you will be lot less tensed. When your mind is calm, you will not argue with your partner for unreasonable reasons. This simple technique will do your marriage a world of good.
No 2. Intelligent ways to stop your arguments from intensifying – Not wanting your partner to change
When you force your partner to change according to your liking, he\she will definitely not like it. Your partner is an individual with his\her way of doing things. The individuality of your partner is dear to him\her. He\she likes to do what he\she likes, without you needlessly intervening into his\her individuality.
When you want your partner to dress, behave, and live as you expect, it will cost your marriage dearly. Your partner will definitely oppose you, when you try to change his\her personality. This is a needless relationship mistake you constantly make.
On the other hand, when you accept your partner for what he\she is, it will bring positive changes in your relationship. When you like your partner as he\she is, you will not argue with him\her for silly reasons.
No 3. Intelligent ways to stop your arguments from intensifying – Not reacting when your anger is raw
When your anger is raw and vivid, you will literally be boiling over. When you are angry, your reasoning will hit the rock bottom. When your anger is at its peak, you want to hurt your partner at any cost. In your anger, you do things that make him\her feel insulted and abused by you.
Though you might not like what your partner is doing, you should not react immediately as you will be all heated up. You must allow your anger to cool down from its boiling point. You must move away from the place, so that you can put your emotions in order. Time away from each other, will allow both to reanalyze your thoughts and actions. When you do not react immediately, you will hold back the hurting words ready to spill out of your mouth.
No 4. Intelligent ways to stop your arguments from intensifying – Let bygones be bygones
Most of the time, your arguments escalates when you dig up your old fights. When you are fighting with your partner, your mind goes back to the intense fight you had with him\her, many months ago. When you bring your old fights into your present arguments, you make your partner feel lost that you had been harboring bitterness against him\her.
You should forget and forgive your partner for the hurt he\she unintentionally inflicted on you. You must accept that you too had hurt your partner, many times. When you keep remembering your fights and arguments, it will bring utter chaos into your relationship.
No 5. Intelligent ways to stop your arguments from intensifying – Apologize, explain and sort it out
When you do not apologize to your partner, the anger he\she has about you remains burning within him\her. So, you should sort out your differences without allowing it to take root.
You must explain to your partner, the reasons behind your anger. You must not escape blame, by accusing your partner as the core reason behind your arguments. If you do so, it will only renew your arguments. When you have sorted out your differences, you should put an end card to your arguments
Conclusion
Arguments make you feel unhappy about your marriage. When you forgo your ego, you will understand your partner from his\her point of view.
You can argue with your partner to show you dissent. But you should never argue with your partner to show, that you do not like being married to him\her.
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