Making your long distance relationship work is a very tricky thing.
You long to live with your spouse, don’t you?
But with job opportunities widening there are times when you have to work in a different place. Sometimes in a different country.
You cannot say no to a job just because the work place is far away from your spouse. You need money for the betterment of your family.
‘I hate the stars because I look at the same ones as you do, without you.’ Anonymous
In real life such sentiments often don’t work. It is practicality which comes to the foray.
After accepting your job which is far away from your spouse, you inwardly know that your relationship will undergo lot of changes.
You have all sorts of doubts about making your long distance relationship work, don’t you?
- You doubt whether your love can withstand the distance between you.
- You are worried about making your love felt when you are miles away from each other.
- You are depressed that the distance between you will plunge your relationship into uncertainty.
- You are fearful that your spouse might become emotionally distanced from you.
- You feel miserable about loneliness you feel.
These are some of the doubtful questions that plague your mind. You feel depressed that you are forced to be away from your spouse because your work demands it.
When you are with your spouse you see each other daily. You discuss family matters together. You know what your spouse is doing. There is lot less tension in your relationship when you know what is going on in the family.
But making a long distance relationship work is a different grammar altogether.
How do you feel when your spouse is miles away from you?
- You are worried that your spouse might be throwing money around in wasteful spending.
- You are stressed that he\she might become intimate with his\her friends of the opposite sex.
- You are strung up that he\she is having fun while you are all alone in an unknown country.
- When your spouse is terse while conversing with you, you assume he\she is drifting away from you.
- When you hear voices of the opposite sex when you are talking with your spouse you become suspicious.
- When he\she does not call you on the scheduled time you presume he\she has lost interest in you.
You have many doubts and suspicion about your spouse when you work faraway, don’t you?
You lose your peace of mind when you have such unwanted doubts and negative imagination about your spouse. Your interaction with him\her is no longer loving and caring. It becomes interrogative and probing.
When you are suspicious about your spouse you cannot really make your long distance relationship work. You become lonely and dejected. When you ask doubting questions your spouse is naturally enraged.
Never ever do that. You might be away physically from him\her. But the love for your spouse should be so strong that it speaks through the distance.
Are you wondering how?
Shall we look at a small example!
You don’t live with your parents, do you?
But you never lose the love for your parents. You have no doubts about the love and care your parents have for you. You have absolute faith in the love of your parents.
Your love for your spouse also should be like that.
Implicit! Complete! Unwavering! Absolute!
Shall we have a peep into the practical tips to make your long distance relationship work?
- Never keep clarifying your doubts when you talk with your spouse- It makes him\her angry.
- Never call during his\her work hours- It makes your spouse annoyed at the disturbance.
- Do not insist on asking doubting questions to your spouse. – He\she is furious.
- Have breezy and friendly conversation with your spouse- He\she looks forward to your calls.
- Ask caring questions about his\her health – Your spouse feel cared and loved.
- Refrain from calling your spouse if he\she has important official work – He\she loves your understanding power.
- Don’t be cold and formal while speaking – Your spouse feels bored to talk to you.
- Look presentable when you are talking through a web cam – Your spouse feels good to look at you.
- Tell your spouse you miss him\her- But never crib and make your conversation highly emotional and boring.
- Interact lovingly to make your spouse feel your love.
- Do not ask spying question about the whereabouts of your spouse.
- Do not pester him\her about his\her financial dealings in your absence.
- Do not make your interaction a questionnaire of doubts and clarifications.
- Be trusting. Be loyal. Be honest.
- Do not present yourself as a martyr and your spouse an the reason for your misery.
In this modern age you can communicate with your spouse easily. Web camera, smart phones are modern technologies which help greatly in making long distance relationship work.
Things you should not do when you are away from your spouse
When you are alone there are lot of temptations which you should avoid. Do not develop unnecessary friendship with the opposite sex. Do not spend too much time with your newly acquired friends.
Mingle with your new friends. But know your limits. Do not exceed it.
Distance in miles should never distance your love. Make your love speak loudly even if you live far away from your spouse.