Unless you stop the blame game in your relationship, you will not enjoy an iota of happiness in your co-existence with your spouse.
In most marriages, couples blame each other for everything bad happening in their relationship. It is sad they do not realize, that they will garner nothing from blaming each other. Instead, it will only make their relationship tough to endure.
You too commit the mistake of blaming your spouse for almost everything.
- If there is a relationship issue in your family life, you blame your spouse as the reason behind it.
- When you face a financial issue, you blame your spouse for mismanaging money.
- When your children misbehave, you blame your spouse for bad parenting.
Not once do you hold yourself responsible for any of your relationship problems. You act as though you cannot do any wrong, and your spouse cannot do anything right. When you act blaming, it just means you have not understood, that issues of your family concerns both. You just cannot hold yourself away from relationship problems, as though it does not concern you.
True love is not holding hands when the going is good. True love is being supportive towards your spouse, even when you know that he or she was the reason behind your family problems.
Sadly, this does not happen in most marriages.
When anything bad happens in your marriage, you do not want to have anything to do with it. Instead, you are more than ready to pinpoint your spouse as the sole reason behind things turning for the worse in your marriage. You must stop this sort of a blame game in your relationship, if you want to truly enjoy it.
What makes you blame your spouse for almost every problem in your relationship?
You are so focused on making your spouse the culprit, that you do not realize that you too were a partner in the mistake that happened. You look at everything from your angle, and you feel you have done nothing wrong. So, you coolly blame your spouse and withdraw yourself from the blame, as you are sure you have done nothing wrong.
When you isolate yourself from relationship issues, it will only make your spouse feel resentful against you. This is a wrong way to live your married life. You must understand that blaming your spouse will get you nowhere.
There are times you might make a mistake. There are times your spouse might be in the wrong. Whoever makes relationship mistakes, it is going to affect both. You will garner nothing by blaming your spouse. Your spouse will garner nothing by blaming you. So, both should stop the blaming game in your relationship.
Whenever you interact with your spouse, you do not talk about the happy things in your marriage. You are totally concentrated on the tense things happening in your family life. You are hellbent on accusing your spouse, as being the sole reason behind all your relationship troubles.
You are doing it all wrong.
When you play the accusing game, communication between you and your spouse turns highly argumentative and confrontational. Your spouse becomes resentful and bitter against you, for blaming him\her. Your spouse is all the more indignant against you for staying aloof from family problems, as though it does not concern you.
Your spouse also feels angry at your unwarranted accusations so much so, that he\she becomes isolated from you. When your spouse stays isolated from you, interaction between you become stilted and formal. A definite wall of indifference arises between you.
This is dangerous to your marriage. You achieve nothing by blaming your spouse. In fact, accusing your spouse makes your relationship unhappy to you. You are not living with an enemy, that you must blame him\her for everything bad happening in your marriage.
Unless you stop the blaming game in your relationship, it would be tough to save it. It is no use blaming your spouse behind your family problems. If you really want to solve your family problems, you must quit blaming your spouse. Instead, you should sit with your spouse to analyze the ways to solve it.
Here are some intelligent ways to stop the blame game in your relationship!
No 1. Way to stop the blame game in your relationship is to be accountable
You should become accountable and answerable in your married life. If your mistake hurts your spouse, you should not feel egoistic to apologize to him\her.
When you apologize to your spouse, you send the simple message to him\her that you hold yourself responsible for the problems that is wrecking your marital happiness. Your spouse loves you for your sincerity in feeling sorry for the mistake you committed.
This simple trick of apologizing to your spouse, prevents bitterness and apathy from creeping into your relationship. When your spouse accepts your apology and refrain from blaming you, the atmosphere between you loses its hostility and soon returns back to normalcy.
No 2. Way to stop the blame game in your relationship is being receptive
Unless you listen to your spouse, you will not understand his\her viewpoint. When assume everything from your angle, you will become blaming.
Instead, you should pay attention to what your spouse has to say to you. You must not intrude in between, when your spouse is explaining his\her angle. You should accept the explanation of your spouse.
When both stop blaming each other and sit down to solve the unwanted relationship problems which is making you tensed, it becomes easy for you to solve it.
No 3. Way to stop the blame game in your relationship is being supportive.
When you understand that you and your spouse are in the same team, you will not blame each other. You will only support each other.
You will not make your spouse feel, that he\she is not good enough for the family, by pointing blaming fingers at him\her. You should realize that whatever problems you might face, and whoever might be the reason behind it, the impact of your issues will affect both.
So, you must have a frank discussion with your spouse about the ways to solve your problems. You should not try to make your spouse seem the sole offender. Problems happening in your marriage, concerns you also.
No 4. Way to stop the blame game in your relationship is including yourself
When you accuse your spouse with harsh words, he\she is emotionally upset.
“You are the reason behind all our family problems” such words you unthinkingly utter makes your spouse feel lonely and unloved.
“Let us solve the problem together” such words signal that you include yourself in all issues you are facing in your marriage.
When you include yourself in the mistakes of your spouse, and when he\she includes himself\herself in your mistakes, you cannot ask for more in your married life.
Sharing family problems together brings that much of incredible bond between you.
CONCLUSION
Instead of being blaming each other, you should solve your problems together. When you stay together during family troubles, it will flood your relationship with intense bonding.
When you do not blame your spouse unreasonably, it will bring your family life into an encompassing umbrella of care, love and emotional security. When you realize that you and your spouse are in the same team, you will not blame each other.
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