Relationship conflicts makes your married life highly stressful, doesn’t it?
“It is impossible to live with my husband” Reshma, a girl I knew was complaining about her husband.
“Why do you say so, Reshma?” I knew her husband. He was quite a good boy with clean habits. So, I could not understand why Reshma was feeling agitated about her husband.
“Aunty my husband is addicted to saving money” the young girl looked disconcerted.
“Saving money is good for your family, Reshma. It will make your family financially secure, you know” I advised the girl.
“Aunty I agree with you. But life is to be enjoyed. I am not saying my husband should throw money around to please me. I only feel that he should not be as miserly as he is now. If we go for any outing, he keeps on cribbing about the price of gasoline. If I buy something for myself, he says I am a spendthrift” the young girl went on.
“My husband counts money for almost everything. It feels so boring, you know. We fight almost daily about money” Reshma sounded irritated by her husband’s penchant of being too money conscious.
So, money was the reason behind the relationship conflict Reshma faced in her married life.
You too must have experienced many relationship conflicts with your spouse. It just cannot be avoided.
Both often clash about certain things in your relationship, don’t you?
It is to be expected. You are from a different family background and your spouse is from a different upbringing.
So, it is only natural that both have different ideologies and thoughts.
It is a normal happening. It is not something you need to worry about. But when your relationship conflicts turn into ego clashes between you, it destroys your marriage with the force of a volcano.
Your marriage finds it impossible to withstand its velocity.
This is where the compatibility you enjoy with your spouse comes to your aid.
Unless you have compatibility with your spouse you cannot save your marriage from failure.
Sadly, you make much ado about the misunderstandings you have with your spouse.
You take the contrasting attitude of your spouse too much to heart. You do not want to reason with your spouse about your point of view. You want to fight out your relationship conflicts to prove your supremacy.
Why are relationship conflicts dangerous to your marriage?
It is because when your conflicts get bigger and bigger you find it impossible to co-exist with your spouse.
Yes!
Relationship conflicts is one of the top reasons for the spurt of divorces in modern marriages.
What are the top relationship conflicts modern couples face?
1. Money
Money leads to many arguments between you.
It is a blunt fact that both do not have identical views about dealing with money. While one is a saver the other is a spender.
If you are more prone to saving money, you dislike the spending habits of your spouse. You think your spouse is throwing away money needlessly.
So, you argue bitterly with your spouse to prove his\her mismanagement of money.
This makes your spending spouse wild with anger. He\she feels you are too restrictive and miserly.
This clashing attitude towards money makes both fight frequently.
Money tops the list of relationship conflicts.
2. Children
Though you and your spouse love your children, both fight about them often.
Looking after kids can be tiresome. When the onus of looking after the children is thrust on you, you do not like it.
You want your spouse to understand his\her duty as a parent.
Not only this, the way your children should be brought often makes you fight about it.
While one of you is lenient the other is invariably strict.
This makes you fight bitterly about it.
3. Household chores
Nowadays household chores is turning into a big relationship conflict.
Many women feel that they are treated more like a maid by their husbands.
Your wife is angry when she slogs all alone battling with the never-ending household chores while you are having it good.
She yells at you saying that you are holding yourself away from your duties towards the family.
4. Addiction to the social media
Nowadays addiction to the social media is driving a wedge between couples.
When you share your personal pictures with your Facebook friends, your spouse does not like it.
When you make new friends with the opposite sex in the social media, it drives your spouse mad.
When you spend tons of time chatting with your social media friends your spouse retaliates with venomous anger.
Social media is also one of the top relationship conflicts.
5. Over possessiveness
When you cling to your spouse in the name of love 24 hours a day, he\she does not like it.
Your spouse is resentful that you are invading into his\her personal zone.
But you feel your spouse is not spending quality time with you because he\she does not love you enough.
While you are unhappy that your spouse is not spending all his free time with you, he\she is furious that you are denying him\her his\her private space.
6. Making much ado about the faults of your spouse
You dislike certain habits of your spouse. You do not overlook it. You make it seem as if it destroys your happiness.
You fight when your spouse strews things around.
You argue when your spouse forgets some important payments\purchase.
You are furious when your spouse slurps while eating.
Everything that your spouse does makes you so angry that you fight about it.
Conclusion
“Problems in relationship occur because each person s concentrating on what is missing in the other person” – Wayne Dyer
Yes!
When you concentrate on qualities you dislike about your spouse, your marriage will be flooded by a plethora of relationship conflicts.
You will find it very tough to make your marriage survive when your attention is diverted to the negative aspect of your spouse.
Accept the fact that your spouse will be different from you. Overlook the differences you dislike. Concentrate only on the positive qualities of your spouse. If so, you can easily make your married life as blissful and idealistic as you dreamed it to be.
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