Do you know you could be emotionally cheating your spouse?
I know you will vehemently deny this.
‘I am very loyal to my spouse. I have never cheated him\her.’
Do you think you are not cheating your spouse when you do not indulge in extra marital affairs?
You are wrong.
Infidelity has many faces.
Emotionally cheating your spouse is a terrible form of infidelity. It is as bad as physically cheating him\her.
‘It is important to set proper boundaries in your outside relationships for the purpose of protecting your primary relationship from emotional promiscuity. We often think of infidelity as a physical act when the truth is it started as a breach of emotional monogamy.’ – Jordan Blake Michiels
Marriage relationship has undergone many drastic changes. The values of marriage are completely different from what it was many years ago. Long ago infidelity was a taboo word.
It was spoken in hushed tones as it was a very rare and unusual happening. It was always assumed that only men indulged in extra marital affairs.
When does emotionally cheating your spouse happen?
- When you do not confide to your spouse about your friend of the opposite sex.
- When you talk with your male\female friends about personal things which you never share with your spouse.
- When you enjoy the company of your secret friend more than that of your spouse.
- When you talk with your male\female friend in a low and secretive tone without the knowledge of your spouse.
‘There is no physical intimacy involved in our relationship. How can a platonic friendship be considered as cheating my spouse?’
You often want to prove yourself innocent,don’t you?
It is true you are not cheating your spouse physically. But you are emotionally cheating him\her in many ways. It is a blatant betrayal of the trust your spouse has in you.
You are emotionally cheating your spouse when you unknowingly commit these form of infidelities.
You prefer your secret friend more than your spouse
You feel you have lots of things in common with your secret friend – In contrast you have no common interest with your spouse.
‘There are lots of things I can talk with my friend which I am unable to do with my spouse’.
You laugh a lot when you are in the company of your male\female friend – you think your secret friend is more fun than your spouse.
In contrast, you do not spend your free time with your spouse.
You spend lonely hours at home.
When your interest in your spouse dwindles you shout and yell at him\her for no reason. You utter unwarranted comments about his\her appearance, behavior and habits with the sole intention of hurting him\her.
You are frustrated when you are not with your secret friend
When your secret friend does not call you, you feel lost and deprived. You become edgy with your family.
You stay aloof from your spouse as you feel you have nothing to share with him\her.
Your face brightens when your secret friend calls you.
You move away from your spouse to talk for a long time in whispering voice. Your poor spouse frets in confused suspicion.
Though you know you are doing injustice to your spouse, your newly found craze gets the better of you. You let yourself get emotionally embroiled in a situation which slowly disintegrates your marriage.
You compare your spouse with your friend
You always compare your spouse in a very low light with your male\female friend.
You think your spouse is boring and dull in comparison.
Do you know comparison is itself emotionally cheating your spouse?
Unless there is a dividing line in your relationship with the opposite sex you cannot be emotionally loyal to your spouse.
When you do not confide to your spouse about your so-called friendship, you are emotionally cheating your him\her.
Why do you need to be so secretive about it if it is a harmless interaction?
If your friendship is as innocent as you say so, you feel free to talk to that person in the presence of your spouse.
What are the repercussions of emotionally cheating your spouse?
- Your spouse loses the trust in you.
- He\she resents you.
- He\she no longer wants to spend time with you.
- He\she loses his\her love for you.
What is the right way to handle this problem?
- Your loyalty should always be with your spouse.
- Have transparency in your relationship.
- Never discuss relationship issues with your friends\relatives.
- Be frank and open with your spouse.
- Never let another person occupy your mind.
- Never be emotionally unfaithful to your spouse.
Marriage is very delicate relationship. One wrong can do immense damage to it.
Emotional infidelity is a grave blunder.Don’t get carried away by your fickle emotions and destroy your married life.