Who wins in the race between love marriage vs arranged marriage?
The westerners find the concept of arranged marriage very strange and odd.
‘How can you marry a person you never know?’ they feel people who have arranged marriage are doing it all wrong.
In western countries couples marry out of love.
If love was the reason for their marriage, why does their relationship have such a short life span?
Why is divorce more prevalent in Western countries?
I am sure they never have an answer to it.
But in Asian countries arranged marriage is still prevalent. And many arranged marriages have longer life span.
Does this mean arranged marriage is better than love marriage?
It is not so.
Whether yours is an arranged marriage or love marriage is not an issue at all. The stability of your marriage depends upon the strong foundation of your love for each other. This is what finally matters in your married life – not the race of love marriage vs arranged marriage.
Your marriage cannot survive without love. And your love cannot last when it is not nurtured.
Couples who marry out of love should nurture their relationship to make it a success. Couples whose marriage is arranged should also nurture their relationship to make it a success.
Can you now see that happiness in your relationship is not dependent on whether you married out of love or whether it was arranged by your parents?
Now for the debate.
Who wins in the war between love marriage vs arranged marriage?
Let us get deeply into the contest.
The pros of arranged marriage.
- You have the full support of your parents to deal with your relationship problems.
- Your parents’ guide you about the proper way to lead your married life.
- You are excited by the newness of gradually understanding your spouse better.
- You adapt to your spouse as you do not want your family to feel they have made a mistake
The cons of arranged marriage
- You are in for a shock when you do not like your spouse.
- You are thrust into a joint family where you are forced to adjust with your in-laws. You didn’t bargain for this.
- They interfere too much interference into your personal life in the name of advice.
The main differences in love marriage vs arranged marriage
- Arranged marriage is completely the choice of the parents.
- Love marriage is the sole choice of couples because they love each other.
- In arranged marriages it is love after marriage.
- In love marriage it is love before marriage.
Both types of marriage need your input of tolerance, commitment and responsibility to make it a success.
In arranged marriages there is a mild feeling of exciting suspense as you never really know what type of person your spouse really is. Your arranged marriage can be happy only when you understand your spouse. It takes time.
In love marriages the euphoria of marrying the person you love is very thrilling and very exciting. You are literally in cloud nine. You understand your spouse perfectly before your marriage. So you find it easy to make your relationship work with perfection.
‘Most love marriages nowadays end in the divorce court’ an advocate friend of mine told me.
‘Why? Couples married because they loved each other, didn’t they?’ I asked her confusedly.
‘You are right. But when in love couples put their best foot forward. They never show their negative side to their spouse. This builds up great expectations about him\her’ she smiled wryly.
‘Often these expectations crash into nothingness after a few years of marriage. Instead of adjusting with each other couples opt for divorce. The lost look in their face after divorce makes me wonder why they married at all’ she made a lengthy confession.
Does this make arranged marriage the better choice?
Couples of arranged marriage too have high expectations. They too feel disappointed. They too opt for divorce.
Finally the battle of love marriage vs arranged marriage means nothing. All marriages work only when couples make efforts to make it a success.
Modern couples do not know the trick of making their marriage work. The topmost reason is that they make much ado about nothing.
You have great expectations about your marriage, but eventually face great disappointments. You are so feeble minded that you cannot digest your crashed expectations.
You instantly decide that your marriage has no hopes of survival. You are more than ready to annul your marriage than take efforts to make it work.
Who finally wins the race between love marriage vs love marriage?
It is love that finally wins the race.
It is the top ingredient needed to make any marriage work. Be it love marriage or arranged marriage.
But it is true that modern couples mostly prefer love marriage. They feel it is far better than arranged marriage as they at least know the person whom they are going to spend rest of their life with.
Couples do not like the awkward situation of living with a complete stranger as it happens in arranged marriages. They always choose the option of love marriage. Rightly so.