There are some crucial questions to ask before marriage.
Modern marriages are falling like nine pins. A stable marriage has become as rare as diamonds.
Why are modern marriages failing?
It is because, you fall in love easily and fall out of love easily also. When you marry your spouse, you do not have an iota of doubt about the stability of your marriage. You are smug, that your love days would transit into your married life also.
But after your marriage, you are shocked when you meet many relationship issues with your spouse, which you never thought would happen between you. When unexpected problems crop up between you and your spouse, you break your head that you could avoided falling into a relationship which had definite signs of failing.
You plan your wedding day with meticulous precision. You make elaborate arrangements to make your wedding a pleasurable treat to everyone’s eyes. But you do not discuss with your spouse, your life after marriage.
- You do not discuss how your finances should be managed.
- You do not talk about your loans and debts with your spouse.
- You do not confess about your personal commitments, that must be continued after your marriage also.
This is where most young couples falter. You are so concentrated on your love for your spouse, that you are smug that you can tide over any relationship problems as and when it crops up.
It is sad that you do not realize, that your life before marriage, and after marriage will be entirely different. You do not also understand, that after marriage your commitments and responsibilities will pile up. You literally buckle under the pressures of the velocity of the continuous problems that you face with your spouse.
- After marriage, your tolerant ratio towards your spouse will diminish considerably.
- After marriage, you will find it near impossible to overlook the problems created by your spouse that easily.
You feel you should have discussed your life after marriage in detail with your spouse, only after you face relationship issues and problems. Unless you discuss important needling matters with your spouse before marriage itself, it could become a thorny issue between you after your marriage.
Do not ever plunge into a hurried marriage, without discussing many of the niggling doubts you have about your spouse. You might easily adjust with your spouse before marriage, as you are totally blinded by the love you have for him\her. But after marriage, you will lose the fervent love for your spouse, as you become used to his\her presence in your life.
Shall we now have a look at the 5 crucial questions to ask before marriage?
No 1. Crucial questions to ask before marriage is about your level of compatibility with your spouse
Compatibility is very important for your marriage to survive.
- When you constantly argue with your spouse, it could continue after your marriage also.
- When your arguments are bitter and hostile, your relationship has no chance of surviving.
- When there is continued verbal and physical abuse between you, it just states that there is no respect in your relationship.
- When your spouse has highly traumatic habits like alcoholism or drug addiction, it will be near impossible to hold on to your marriage.
- When your spouse is a cheat or a persistent liar, you will cease to like him or her, after a few years of marriage.
- When your spouse is a pessimist and a loser, you will hate every moment of your married life.
When you are in love, you might feel you can change your spouse for the better. But the harsh truth is, you cannot. It is because, after marriage your reaction to the many negative habits of your spouse will invariably be bitter and resentful.
When there are way too many petty arguments between you, it simply means that you cannot co-exist in harmony with your spouse. If you verbally abuse each other before marriage, you can never hope for a happy relationship between you.
You should consider these niggling factors before marriage itself. It could save you tons of agony.
No 2. Crucial questions to ask before marriage is whether your relationship can survive the vast difference in the social status between both
Let us suppose there is a vast social status between you and your spouse. You might be from an exceedingly rich family, and your spouse might be from a middle-class family.
It is all fine to say that the differences in your social status does not matter, as your love for each other is that intense. In fact, you might feel emotional that you will make your spouse enjoy a good lifestyle, he\she had never enjoyed so far.
But this emotional feeling will not last for long. After the initial glow of your love wears off, you will come to the stark reality of your married life. When your spouse makes you live through a mediocre lifestyle, you find drudgery around you intolerable and unacceptable.
As your love has come down to normalcy, you find the life you are living through undesirable. You dislike the house you live in. You hate living your day-to-day life in a routine manner.
As you are completely dissatisfied with the life you are now living through, you fight with your spouse for giving you a deplorable lifestyle.
So, you should not overlook social status differences as unimportant, as it will turn out to be a crucial issue in your marriage.
No 3. Crucial questions to ask before marriage is about your mindset regarding marriage
If you feel you are not ready for marriage, you must reconsider your decision to marry. It is because marriage is not an easy joke. Your married life will always be a huge responsibility.
- You will be bidding goodbye to your pre-marriage carefree days.
- You will become answerable to your spouse.
- You cannot spend money, as you did before your marriage.
- You will have tons of duties to be fulfilled.
Your marriage would never be as rosy as you imagined it to be. You will have to forgo many of your personal wishes to accommodate your spouse. You must have the mindset to handle your family issues with understanding.
If you want everything to happen to your liking, it is not going to happen. Unless you understand the seriousness of your relationship, you should reconsider your decision to marry.
No 4. Crucial questions to ask before marriage is your financial commitments
You might have many personal financial commitments before marriage, which must be continued after your marriage also.
But when you hide your personal financial commitments from your spouse, it could create unthinkable relationship issues between you. After marrying you, your spouse might plan a house\car\vacation\family’s financial future\ your children’s education with the combined income of both.
When the futuristic plans of your spouse cannot materialize because you hid your financial commitments from him\her, a bitter confrontation happens between you. You must understand that you are answerable to your spouse, after your marriage.
You must confess about your loans and debts to your spouse, before marriage itself. It could save you tons of needless confrontations, that might otherwise arise between you and your spouse.
You should always remember that the concealed financial commitments of both, will turn your married life highly tensed and hostile. When you are unable to contribute towards your family’s futuristic plans because of your previous financial obligations, your spouse feels cheated by you.
It is always better to sort out these needling matters before marriage, so that they do not become a thorny issue in your relationship.
No 5. Crucial questions to ask before marriage is about the level of respect between you
Your marriage cannot survive when there is no respect between you. Mutual respect for each other is very important, if you want your marriage to survive.
- When the habits of your spouse evoke dislike in you, you will not respect him\her.
- If your spouse is prone to let you down before his \her family or friends, you will not like it.
- If your spouse body shames you, you feel disrespected.
- When your spouse takes you for granted, your mind revolts against his\her sense of complacency about you.
- When your spouse vents his \her anger on you before others, you feel insulted and hurt.
These are all clear signs of lack of respect in your married life. Lack of respect is a clear red signal for your marriage.
If your spouse is comfortable in making you feel uncomfortable, he\she will not make you happy when you marry him\her. It will be very difficult to make your marriage a success, without mutual respect between you.
CONCLUSION
Do not marry in haste and repent in leisure. Do not ever feel, that it is alright to marry even if there are some very needling problems between you.
It is because your marriage will not work out. You must iron out all your doubts about your relationship, even before marrying your spouse. It would do your relationship and your marriage a world of good.
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