Your selfish husband makes you feel unloved and uncared, doesn’t he?
‘In almost every marriage there is a selfish and an unselfish partner. A pattern is set up and soon becomes inflexible, of one person always making the demands and one person always giving way.’- Iris Murdoch
You have certain expectations about your husband.
- You want his love.
- You want him to respect your contribution towards the family.
- You want him to share your household chores.
- You want him to appreciate you.
- You want him to be frank with you.
- You want him to be responsible.
But your selfish husband does not give you any of this.
- He is too concentrated on his own interest
- He wants you to behave according to his mindset.
- He does not accept your views as he feels you know nothing.
- He is very egoistic and would never give in to you.
It is tough to live with such a selfish husband, isn’t it?
Your selfish husband thinks only of himself
1. He never helps in household chores
Does your husband recline before the TV expecting you to be at his service?
Your husband feels he is the head of the family. So he wants you to look after him. He coolly forgets that you too are tired from a hectic work schedule.
He never lends you a helping hand.
He lazes around while you slog all alone.
You helplessly fume at him in frustrated anger.
2. He expects you to clean his mess
Does your husband strew things around?
Does he not clean up his mess?
His clothes lie in the bed. He never bothers to put in its place.
His keeps used coffee cups and plates wherever he is in. He expects you to do the cleaning up.
3. You have to do what he expects you to do
Your selfish husband never acknowledges that you too have your own desires.
He expects you to follow his orders to the dot.
He always feels he knows better than you.
He becomes abusive when you do not obey him.
4. He deals with your money
He decides how your hard-earned money must be spent.
He questions you about your spending.
But he never allows you to have any say in his income.
5. He thrust his parents on you
He feels you are duty bound to look after his parents.
He never realizes that his parents are his duty, not yours.
This is a quality you dislike most in him.
6. He wants sex even when you are not in the mood
As a woman you feel sexually aroused only when you are emotionally aroused. But your selfish husband is not concerned about it.
He expects you to sexually satisfy him whenever he is in the mood for it.
When you cite your tiredness he turns abusive as he feels you are deliberately denying him the pleasure due to him.
7. He never supports you
Whenever there are family issues your selfish husband withdraws away from it as if it is not his concern.
The entire burden of dealing with family and household problems falls on your shoulder.
It might be repairing a dripping tap. It might be some electrical problem. It might be a bill unpaid.
You have to deal with everything on your own.
You feel irritated at his heartless attitude.
8. You are the one to make all adjustments
He will never let go his comfort zone.
He expects you to adjust to all his faults.
But he never adjusts to your minor mistakes.
He instantly makes abusive comments about your way of doing things.
9. He is never appreciative
Your selfish husband never appreciates you.
He takes for granted that you are there to look after him and his children.
So he feels you are only doing your duty which does not need any appreciation from him.
10. He is a TV\social media addict
He whiles away his time watching TV. Or plunges himself into the social media. He never takes care of the children as he feels they are your duty.
He never attempts to help you.
But he feels it is your duty to be at his beck and call.
Your selfish husband is quite a handful, isn’t he?
You love your husband. You are very dutiful also. But it should be reciprocated by your husband also. It is indeed tragic when he does not understand your needs and only sees his needs in everything.
Should you allow your selfish husband to have his way?
Never let him his way always.
Make sure he shares family problems with you.
Do not play a mother to his selfish needs – this makes him more and more self-centered.
Be firm in stressing that you too should have a say in family matters.
Do not think that you show your love by burdening all the responsibilities on your already overburdened shoulders.
Good marriages always have a give and take policy. Mutual love and respect is the key to continued marital happiness.
When you are the one who has to relent and adjust to make your marriage work, your pent-up frustration one day burst out with a volcanic impact. You never want that, do you?