Mother and daughter relationship after marriage undergoes drastic changes.
Your relationship with your mother, is not as emotional and compatible as your relationship with your father is.
To your father, you are an angel. You can do nothing wrong. And no one should dare to even open their mouth against you. So, you are emotionally bonded with your father, before your marriage.
But your relationship with your mother, before your marriage, is more of a warring relationship. Many a time, you lock horns with your mother, as you do not see eye to eye with her in many things.
This is the sort of relationship that exists between a mother and daughter in any part of the world.
Mother and daughter relationship before your marriage, has always been warring and confrontational.
As a daughter, you always fought with your mother before your marriage, didn’t you?
In fact, both fight like cats and dogs about almost everything. You just couldn’t agree to anything your mother does.
You find many faults in the attitude of your mother towards you.
Your father is compelled to play the role of a mediator between you and your mother.
And your father, invariably took your side, even though you were in the wrong. His darling daughter could do no wrong.
Your differences of opinion with your mother before your marriage is way too much.
“My mother interferes in my dressing.”
“She objects when I plan to go out with my friends.”
“She keeps on advising me about the qualities of a good woman, as if I was good for nothing.”
“My mother keeps comparing me with my friends and says I am not up to their standards.”
This is not the all.
You have many more complaints lined up against your mother.
Your mother counters you with her list of complaints against you.
Your mother feels that you are bone lazy.
She says that you should be more responsible.
Your mother complains to your father, that you do not listen to any of her advice.
You feel your hackles arise, as you feel your mother makes it seem as though you must always listen to her.
This is the reason why you are closer to your father, than with your mother before your marriage.
The astonishing emotional changeover in mother and daughter relationship after marriage
But after your marriage, the transformation in your relationship with your mother is a revelation.
You now feel very emotional about your mother. You also become dependent upon her for emotional support.
In fact, you confide about your problems more with your mother than with your father, after your marriage.
How does this drastic emotional changeover in mother and daughter relationship after marriage happen?
It is because after your marriage, you look back upon what your mother did for you before your marriage.
Though your mother often yelled at you for innocuous things, only she knew what you wanted. And she was selfless in catering to all your needs.
Your mother cooked your favorite dishes.
She did your laundry.
Your mother bought you the dresses you craved for.
Your mother did fight with you frequently. But she also laughed with you.
In fact, your mother was your foe as well as your friend.
The kind of relationship you had with your mother is something you never share with others.
After your marriage, your life undergoes many changes.
You were looked after with care and love by your mother, before your marriage.
But you become duty bound to look after your husband and in laws, after your marriage.
You were treated like a princess, before your marriage.
You are loaded with household chores, after your marriage.
You got up, as and when you liked before your marriage, as all your needs was catered to by your mother.
But you have to get up early to do your family duties, after your marriage.
You made all sort of comments about your mother, before your marriage.
But your in-laws make all sorts of comments about you, after your marriage.
Can you see the transformation your life undergoes, after your marriage?
You now miss the pampering of your mother. You miss the luxury of getting up at your will. You miss the cooking of your mother. You even miss the arguments you had with her.
When you overhear the criticizing comments your in-laws make about you, you become helplessly angry.
You now understand that the criticism of your mother, was to mold you into a good person. The criticism of your mother did not have the bite and venom of the comments of your in-laws.
After your marriage, you are nostalgic about the sacrifices your mother made for you.
Your mother might have fought with you, but she was also relentless in her service for you.
You can take all sort of liberties with your mother, which you would not dream taking with your in-laws.
These are some of the topmost reasons, why there are such dramatic changeovers in mother and daughter relationship after marriage.
Your emotional need for your mother, multiplies after your marriage.
She becomes your anchor.
Your mother becomes your pillar of strength.
You want to confide everything with her.
She had been your chef, before your marriage.
You enjoyed eating her cooking you, your favorite dishes.
Your mother has also been your maid. She looked after all your needs.
Though she fought with you, she also been your best friend and well-wisher.
She is now a wonderful grandmother, who looks after your children with dedication and love.
You miss these qualities in your in laws.
When you become a mother, you know more about her feelings towards you.
You too are a mother now, aren’t you?
You want to spend your holidays with your mother, as you feel you can be yourself without any pretense, only with her.
You want to relive your magic days of fun and command, you enjoyed with her.
This is the feeling a daughter has about her mother, throughout the world.
The division of country and culture does not change the relationship between a mother and daughter.
You might be from an Asian country, or the modern Western country, the mother and daughter relationship is the same.
Warring, but emotional. Diversified in many things, but unified in love and care.
“A son is a son ’til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life.”
This quote by Emily Giffin is so apt and true.
A son totally changes after his marriage. He becomes the husband to the girl he married. And his role as a son takes a retreat.
But a daughter never changes. She remains a daughter, always. Once a daughter, always a daughter.
The umbilical cord connection with your mother can never be severed.
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