Most of you feel angry and upset at the back talk by your child, don’t you?
Your whole world revolves around your child. And you love him as your life.
Naturally you want your child to obey and respect you. But you are taken aback when your child plays smart with you and back answers you, right in front of your friends\relatives\colleagues.
You literally cringe with shame when your child never listens to your reasoning and keeps arguing with you. In your fury, you show your anger either by beating your child or giving him the silent treatment.
You often break your head about the ways to deal with the back talk by your child, don’t you?
You should first understand that the back talk by your child is not deliberate and pre-planned. Your child knows no such cunning strategies.
Back talk by your child is not pre motivated or planned as in adults. It is just the result of your bad parenting.
Are you shocked by the accusation?
It is a harsh truth that you cannot wholly blame your child for back talking with you.
Do you know why?
Your child is a great imitator. He replicates what he sees around him. If you yell and fight with your spouse right in front of your child, he copies your behavior by back answering you.
Back answer by your child might also be an outward sign of his pent-up frustration.
Are you too strict a parent?
Do you want your child to obey your orders to the dot?
Do you not allow your child the freedom to talk about what he needs from you?
Most of you commit these grave parental mistakes never knowing its negative impact on your child.
When your child is time and again restricted by you, he withdraws from you. When his emotions are crushed by your strict behavior, his suppressed anger makes him back talk with you.
Whatever might be the reason, back talk by your child should be nipped in the bud. Otherwise, he might grow up as a spoiled brat.
5 intelligent ways to deal with the back talk by your child
1. Look at the root cause
First analyze yourself as a parent. Be ruthless in defining your parental mistakes.
When you do not know the art of bringing up your child with proper values you cannot expect him to be disciplined and well behaved.
- Do you fight with your spouse right in front of your child?
- Do you use expletives when at home?
- Do you abuse your spouse at will?
When your child sees your abusive behavior, he feels it is a natural and normal thing to do.
So, when your child feels that you are too restrictive or controlling, he back answers you to show his anger.
This is the reason you should be conscious of your behavior before your child.
Never use abusive words. Do not display negative body language.
If at all you have to fight with your spouse, do it when your child is not there.
Be a role model to your child.
2. Do not argue back
If you argue back when your child back talks with you, he relishes the thought that he has provoked you. So, you must control your emotions.
Be very calm when talking with your back-answering child.
- Tell your child that you will not accept his behavior.
- Do not ask the reasons for his misbehavior as it will lead to a lengthy argument.
- Do not try to prove him wrong.
- Do not try to negotiate.
- Do not force him to apologize. His self-respect will be crushed.
Just make him realize that you would never tolerate such back talk from him.
3.Give your child your time and care
Do you know your child might be feeling completely deprived of love?
Are you taken aback?
It is because, though you love your child, you do not spend quality time with him.
This is a common blunder you keep repeating again and again. You never spend time with your child.
I am not implying you do not love your child. Of course, you love him. You work yourself threadbare for his betterment. You buy him costly things which is the envy of many of his friends.
But you never spend quality time with your child. Costly things can never replace the time your child needs from you.
Just a few moments of your time will make your child feel loved and cherished.
- Enquire about your child about his day in school.
- Share about your day in work place with your child. This makes him feel proud that you have taken him into confidence.
- Play with your child.
- Allow your child to talk with you about anything under the sky. Your child will feel exhilarated when you spend such fun time with him.
This is a simple trick to make your child feel that he is of prime importance in your life.
The fulfillment your child feels when you spare your time for him makes him feel loved by you.
And you will be pleasantly surprised to you see your child become more obedient and respectful.
4. Never be too pampering
Do you bow to the demands of your child instantly and immediately?
Do you think that you are being affectionate and caring parent when you do so?
No!
You are not.
In fact, you are doing great injustice to your child when you are too pampering.
When you are too pampering to all the needs of your child, he grows up without knowing what life is all about.
You might pamper your child, but this merciless world is not going to do it.
When you keep on buying your child whatever he asks for, the slightest denial from you makes him back talk with you.
5. Never be too strict
When you are too strict with your child, he feels oppressive being with you. When you do not allow him to unwind at home, he becomes irritated very easily.
- So, give your child total freedom and liberty to be mischievous at home.
- His home should be a place where he can enjoy himself. Never convert it into a school where he should do everything according to rules.
Conclusion
Can you see the back talk by your child is the byproduct of your negligent parenting?
Being too strict makes your child feel oppressed at home. He lets of his steam by giving you tit for tat.
Being too pampering makes your child feel he has the liberty to cross his line. He takes advantage of your needless leniency.
Not spending time with your child makes him love deprived. He bursts out his frustration by back answering you.
Your parenting mistakes destroys the character of your child.
So, master excellent parenting skills. Mold your child by being a role model to him.
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