Why do couples fight for almost everything?
How is it couples fight almost daily for the most innocuous reasons?
There is no single couple who can say they don’t fight.
It would be a blatant lie if they say so. Couples who don’t fight never exists in the whole world.
How can two people from diversified upbringing not have clash of opinions?
It would be impossible.
So, it is very normal that couples fight when their views differ from that of their spouse. This does not mean that they are drifting apart from each other. It just means that they are being very human.
Mostly couples fight when their tense situation forces them to flare up with venom.
You are no different.
You too fight with your spouse for many reasons.
You might be under tremendous work-related stress. And on one particular day you could have been bombarded by the management. You return home with your nerves creeping in suppressed anger and tension. One innocent comment from your spouse makes you lose your temper and you utter words that hurt him\her.
Wife fights with her husband for these reasons
When your husband relaxes before the TV\laptop\video games while you are struggling with tons of household chores, you become all keyed up.
When your husband turns a deaf ear to your request to look after your children, you just cannot tolerate it.
You give him a good tongue lashing about how lazy and irresponsible your husband is. It soon develops into a bitter confrontation between you.
Here are many reasons why couples fight
Money matters and financial dealings.
Children
Shopping
Household chores
In-laws
Addiction to the social media
Talking too much in the mobile
Forgetting to do things your spouse asked you do.
Way of handling money
Outings
Indifference
Irresponsibility
These are the common grounds which makes couples fight. These topics by itself does not instigate fights. It is the diversified views both have towards it that converts your interaction into a battleground.
Your attitude also makes you fight with your spouse.
Your hectic lifestyle makes you mentally and physically drained. So, you find it impossible to be patient. You also lack empathy to understand the viewpoint of your spouse. This makes you easily react with unreasonable anger.
You want someone handy to vent all your frustrations, and your spouse comes handy to you. So, you make him\her your punching bag.
Does fights become a marriage wrecker when couples fight?
It depends on the way you fight.
A momentary flash of anger against your spouse is harmless. Fair fighting to make your spouse understand your viewpoint is very needed for your marriage.
In South India there is a saying which says small tiffs between couples spice up married life.
Small tiffs between you are harmless. Your anger is situational and has nothing to do with your spouse. After you realize your mistake you apologize with him\her.
The making up with your spouse is the most romantic part of your marriage. Most of you feel very emotionally intimate with your spouse after he\she apologizes to you.
You can ask any couples. Most of them will say that when their spouse makes up for the fight, the interaction between them is very intimate and romantic.
But nowadays tiffs are developing into huge fights between you.
What could be the reasons why couples fight for almost everything?
You lead a very hectic lifestyle (I have to keep repeating this as your lifestyle is one major cause contributing towards your failed marriage).
You literally hurry through your day to day life without pausing to relish the niceties of your marriage. You are always keyed up by the rat race you face in your work place.
What happens when you too tensed up?
- You do not relax.
- You get angry very easily.
- You utter harsh words without thinking about the repercussions it creates in your marriage.
- You deviate from your spouse as you do not have the patience to adjust.
Here are other reasons why couple fight in marriage!
1. You compare your marriage with others
You compare your married life with that of others. You become gloomy that yours is not as flourishing as that of your friends\relatives\colleagues.
You lose your mental peace and feel your marriage is not good enough. You spit forth words which hurt your spouse and wrecks your marriage.
Never ever compare your marriage with others.
Understand that your marriage is unique in its own way.
You do not compare your love and compatibility with others. You compare your money with that of others.
You look at your friends\relatives leading a better lifestyle than you and you feel your married life is lacking their wealth and affluence.
The result is bitter fights between both regarding what you lack materialistically and how your spouse is incapable of giving you a good standard of living. Wealth is just your financial well-being and does nothing to make your love stable and secure.
2. You outgrow each other
When you outgrow your spouse, you lose your interest in him\her. When interest is lost in your relationship, there is nothing exciting in your marriage.
When you do the same things over and over again, there is nothing new in your marriage.
‘Familiarity breeds contempt’ doesn’t it?
As years go by, you feel your spouse is boring and tiresome. When boredom creeps into your marriage, whatever your spouse does needles you.
You easily find faults with your spouse that you end up picking silly fights with him\her.
In modern marriages couples get bored with their spouse with an ease of getting bored with an old dress.
3. You are negligent
You marry out of love, but live your married life without love. The initial days of your marriage feels wonderful and both cannot have enough of each other.
But after years go by, you never make your marriage work. Your do not demonstrate your love. You do not make your spouse feel cherished. Your interaction is no longer loving. It becomes argumentative and confrontational.
Unless you nurture your relationship your marriage soon tumbles towards failure.
4. Your take your situation too much to heart
You might be under stress for many reasons.
You do not want to confide about your feeling with your spouse.
When you suppress your emotions too much, you are all tensed and keyed up. You get angry very easily and your spouse becomes an easy target to show all your frustrations.
5. Social media addiction
Nowadays social media is wrecking lots of modern marriages. And it has become a valid reason why couples fight.
Being secretive about your social media activities makes your spouse all hyped up. When you spend tons of time in the social media, your spouse cannot take any longer.
Inevitable fights brew up between you creating many unwanted ugly scenes.
6. Children
Though both love your children, both also fight about them. Looking after your children can be very taxing as you are already bone tired from your tight work schedule.
You want your spouse to share your responsibility of looking after your children. When he\she refuses, you easily pick up fights with your spouse.
Conclusion
“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest – never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership.”- Ann Landers
Can you see how couples fight for many reasons?
You too might fight with your spouse for any one of this reason.
How wrong you are?
You should never forget that both are in the same team.
So, resolve your differences before it assumes the proportion of destroying your marriage.
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