The other woman in your husband’s life destroys your marital happiness, doesn’t she?
You feel terribly upset when you come to know that your husband has been cheating you behind your back. You feel furious that he has the audacity to cheat your trust and loyalty.
What happens when you know about the illegal extra marital affair of your husband?
- You lose your mental peace.
- You feel wild with anger that your husband had been disloyal to you.
- You have bitter arguments with him about the other woman in his life.
- You want to walk away from your marriage.
- But you stay on because of your children.
‘Is this really happening to me’ you ask yourself. You still cannot believe that you have competition in your married life.
The other woman is not a new concept in married life. It has been happening for generations.
I remember my mother’s uncle having extra marital affair with another woman. There used to be bitter fights between him and his wife. But his wife never walked away from her marriage. She stayed with her husband even though she knew he was having an illegal affair with the other woman. ‘It is my fate’ she used to tell my mother.
Thinking back, I feel my mother’s aunt has been submissive and meek to allow the other woman enter her married life.
If it had happened today I think she would have divorced her husband.
You should never overlook any illegal affair of your husband. He owes his loyalty to you. He cannot be having fun with the other woman making a mockery of your trust.
Men are very prone to physical attraction. Your husband is no different.
- He is instantly drawn towards a woman if she is physically attractive to him.
- He never thinks he is being disloyal when he indulges in extra marital affairs.
- It is just a physical thing, he justifies himself.
- When the other woman gives him the lead he crosses the line without any hesitation.
You feel like killing him for the injustice he does to you, don’t you?
But there are times your husband justifies his cheating by piling up many accusations against you.
‘My wife makes my life a hell by her aggressive behavior. I have no peace at home as she always degrades me. This is the reason I was attracted to the other woman who understood me better’.
Do you commit these mistakes your cheating husband accuses you of?
- Do you nag your husband about everything?
- Are you prone to angry and ugly outbursts?
- Do you spend too much time away from the family with your friends?
- Do you deny your husband emotional support?
- Do you deny him sex when he needs it?
Your husband dislikes such behavior from you.
Your husband might be physically very strong but he is very weak mentally. He is very vulnerable and emotionally fickle. His ego is shattered and crushed if you nag him persistently. When you are not loving and caring he shrinks inside in frustration and dejection.
He needs his ego to be boosted up to feel worthy.
In fact most women make this mistake. You feel you can make him surrender to your demands in his weakest moment. This is a characteristic your husband hates in you.
Do you browbeat your husband as unworthy and worthless?
This makes him feel very lonely and alone in his inner mind. He feels that he is incapable of success. His mind craves for encouraging words which is not forthcoming from you.
This is when the gates of his mind opens out for the other woman.
When the other woman gives him the emotional comfort which he does not get from you, he feels drawn towards her.
Does your unreasonable behavior justify his betrayal of your trust?
It never does.
Who is this other woman of his life?
- She might be a friend who gives him great companionship to eventually enter into his heart.
- She might be a lonely woman who seeks comfort in your husband.
- She might his colleague who shares her feelings with him to finally enter into his life.
When the other woman becomes his another family you feel your marriage can go no further.
There are ways to deal with the other woman in your husband’s life
- You should never let this affair continue.
- You are his rightfully wedded wife. You have total rights over him, not the other woman.
- Do not take it as a personal defeat to you as wife.
- Your husband will never leave you as he knows that his family is you and your children.
- Do not let your children know about the other woman. They start hating their father.
- It is between you and your husband.
- Do not give importance to the other woman. She does not deserve it.
Who wins the battle? You or the other woman?
- There can be doubt that you will emerge the winner.
- The finality of the illegal relationship of your husband is always separation.
- Your husband and the other woman realize rather late that their relationship too is not perfect.
- Your husband longs to be back in the family fold with you and children.
What should you do?
- Do not indulge in mutual mudslinging with the other woman
- Do not let your husband easily off the hook – divorce makes him make hay while the sun shines.
- Show him firmly that he cannot take you for granted.
When he comes back, give him a firm ultimatum. Tell him firmly that if he cheats again he will lose you, once for all.