This word was taboo some thirty years ago. Couples only divorced for extreme reasons. But today divorce has become so common that the reasons cited by the couples are often very surprising and shocking.
‘In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds of divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage’- Robert Anderson
You marry for love!
But you easily forget your love to opt for divorce.
What makes you lose your love for your spouse?
Are the reasons for your divorce really valid and reasonable?
The saddest aspect of your marriage is that you lose your love easily. You divorce easily. You forget your married life easily.
‘Today couples divorce for the silliest of reasons. They never try to make their marriage work. They never listen to my reasoning’s. I do not know whether the couples are sad for their separation. But I feel terrible when they break up.’ my lawyer friend told me.
Top 5 surprising reasons for divorce.
1. You fight bitterly instead of arguing mildly.
Arguments are part and parcel of almost all marriages. Both are individuals from different family background. So it is only natural you argue with your spouse to drive home your point.
Mild arguments between you are easily forgotten. You speak harsh words which are superficial and momentary. When your arguments are mild it does not scar your relationship. You easily make up with your spouse and your relationship is back to normal.
But when your arguments turn bitter and volatile your unthinking words widens the rift between you.
Yes! Bitter fights scars your relationship.
- You dig up old fights.
- You talk harshly about the family of your spouse.
- You degrade your spouse in the worst possible way.
- You make no efforts for reconciliation after your fight.
Gradually you drift apart from your spouse emotionally and physically. You lose all interest in your spouse. Eventually both decide for divorce.
2. Diversified tastes
A survey result about divorce made me laugh. It quoted that couples opted for divorce when they could not agree with each other on the brands of the things they buy – From toothpastes, shampoos,deodorants to high end electronic gadgets.
Can this be really true?
It is complete mockery of marriage, isn’t it?
Marriage loses its sanctity when you cannot adjust to the diversified tastes of your spouse.
How can you expect your spouse to be your Xerox copy?
You make a battle ground of the diversified tastes between you.
- You like sports while your spouse does not- nothing wrong in that, is there?
- You like shopping while your spouse does not – have your personal shopping.
- You like comedy shows while your spouse likes tragedies- why can’t he\she have diversified tastes about movies?
The list of your diversified tastes is endless.
You feel these diversification are colossal and intolerable. Diversified tastes between you is just a lame excuse for your separation. The true reason is that you have lost your love for each other.
3. Silence kills your marriage
You return home from work tired and fatigued. You carry your work related tension right into your home.
Your spouse is also stressed out. Both are keyed up and heated up. One wrong word and all hell will break out.
So you keep mum. You never interact with your spouse with enthusiasm.
- You do not appreciate your spouse
- You are curt and abrupt when you talk with your spouse.
- You are glued to the computer\laptop\mobile\TV, while your spouse does the same.
You live in your own world and your spouse lives in his\her world. Silence rules your home. Boredom sneaks into your relationship.
You hate to watch a boring movie, don’t you?
Likewise you do not want to live through your boring married life. You want to quit from your relationship- fast and immediately without thinking of ways of improving it.
4. Mother- in-law\sister-in-law troubles
Are you surprised that your in-laws could be a reason behind your divorce?
Surprising they are!
In-laws feel bitter against your spouse when he\she becomes the attention grabber of their dear son\daughter.
- They just cannot bear it.
- They instigate you against your spouse.
- You are caught in between your opposing spouse and your intruding parents\siblings.
This leads to bitter fights between you. Your parents support you while the parents of your spouse sides with him\her. It becomes a family war.
‘Nowadays parents are one of the main reasons for couples divorcing. They never know their limits. It is sad that today’s parents are very selfish and grabbing’ again my lawyer friend told me.
5. Insulting comments.
Comments about the physical attributes of your wife her feel insulted and abused.
- You compare the rather plump appearance of your wife with the svelte figure of your female colleagues.
- She hates you for this.
- You pass degrading comments about her family.
- Her hatred is complete.
You compare your husband in lesser light with others.
- You compare your husband with your more successful colleagues.
- He feels insulted.
- You nag him threadbare about his incapacity to earn more money.
- Your husband is bitter about you.
- He deviates from you emotionally and mentally.
Both decide to divorce rather than live through an abusive relationship.
Laws for getting divorce laws is very easy.
Since both are financially independent you do not worry about the financial problems your divorce could bring into your life.
Divorce has become so common that it does not cause any ripples in you.
You make no efforts to make your marriage work.
It is very easy to break your marriage. You think divorce is an easy way out of a boring married life. But you never realize divorce is like amputation. You can never be the same again.