You want intimacy with your husband more than anything else in your marriage.
In fact it is your dream.
But it always remains an unfulfilled dream. You often wonder why your husband is rather aloof with you.
‘My husband is not truly intimate with me. I do not know where I go wrong’. You often ask yourself this question.
It is indeed difficult to penetrate into the mind of your husband as he never displays his feelings openly.
So you feel if you seduce your husband physically you can become intimate with him.
How wrong you are.
Intimacy with your husband needs many other characteristics from you.
Sexual relationship has no power to build intimacy with your husband.
Surprising, isn’t it?
When in love your husband was totally bewitched by your beauty. In the initial days of your marriage he often seeks your physical intimacy.
Gradually you see a drastic change in your husband’s attitude. Your beauty no longer makes him floored. He restlessly seeks something else from you.
Are you wondering what your husband seeks in you?
He is now more concentrated on emotional intimacy with you.
Emotional intimacy connects you with his true feelings and expectations.
True intimacy with your husband is understanding his emotions from his angle.
‘Passion is the quickest to develop and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.’- Robert Sternberg
Your husband is basically vulnerable. He depends on you for his mental stability.
Top ways to build intimacy with your husband – Unknown facts
- He wants your instant support when he is tensed and worried.
- He wants relaxation and comfort at home.
- He wants you to boost up his sagging morale.
- He wants you to understand his inner feelings.
- He wants you to point out his mistakes in a pleasing way.
- He wants your affection and care.
- He wants you to be humorous.
Do you have these qualities in you?
Sadly you don’t.
You often do things which completely puts him off.
You are always glum and moody with worries about your family.
You keep on cribbing about family problems.
Your husband hates it.
- Your husband wants fun at home.
- He wants breeziness to forget his tension.
- He wants you to laugh at his jokes.
- He likes to tease you.
- He adores you when you have an excellent sense of humor.
When you are humorous you develop incredible intimacy with your husband.
Your husband wants his own spacing. Unlike you he is not totally family oriented.
- He wants to spend time with his friends.
- He likes to watch his favorite sports.
- Sometimes he just wants to laze around the house.
When you are demanding and clinging he feels suffocated. When you insist that he takes you out when he wants to relax at home he hates your compulsive demand. Denied comfort and relaxation at home makes him feel jailed.
Give your husband his space to do whatever he likes. Do not clamor to take you out when he is tired and fatigued. This simple attitude paves easy way to develop excellent intimacy with your husband.
It is a myth that men like docile women. In fact your husband wants you to be self-confident. When you handle family issues deftly he admires your guts. When you do your own work without depending on him he is pleased about your capability.
Your husband can be professionally successful. But he does not have the capacity to handle family problems. He easily chips under it. When you are his pillar of strength he is totally infatuated by you.
Your husband seeks a mother element in you.
- When you take care of him he feels comfortable.
- He likes your small physical gestures of love- ruffling his hair, giving him a warm hug or even pleasantly smiling at him.
- The easiest way to his heart is through his stomach. When you cook his favorite dish he adores you.
He hates it when you are domineering and bossy.
- He completely deviates from you.
- He hates your high pitched voice.
- He winces in revulsion when you command him.
Talk with him softly. Explain family matters reasonably. You will be amazed by the instant positive reaction you get from him.
Being friendly and reasonable is an emphatic way to intimacy with your husband.
Sexual intimacy is just a fleeting physical closeness your husband enjoys with you. He easily forgets it. But when you understand him he adores you. He trusts you. He never hides anything from you.
Your easy companionship make him feel relaxed.
Your understanding attitude makes him feel sheltered.
Your motherly care makes him feel cozy.
Your husband is now completely and emotionally intimate with you. This is the true intimacy you should enjoy with your husband. It is this intimacy which has an everlasting positive impact in your relationship.
Armaan Jain says
Mathi this is the best article you have written
This is exactly the problem which most of the couples face today
Exactly to the point
Also another point is when things drift these things should be kept in mind
Well written
Mathi says
Armaan,
Most couples never know the importance of emotional intimacy. It makes your married life vibrate with inner happiness. When you chase after money you do not have time for such intricacies in your married life. Money can make you financially affluent, but emotional intimacy can make your relationship enjoy true togetherness.