Most of you never give attention to your spouse, do you?
You are committing a grave relationship mistake if you do so. Because your behavior of not noticing your spouse affects him\her in a real bad way.
Your spouse needs your attention to feel loved and cared. When you do not give attention to your spouse, it creates many relationship issues between you.
Strangely you were very attentive and observant to the needs of your spouse in your love filled days.
- You were energetic and vivacious in your interaction with your spouse.
- You were thrilled and exhilarated to see each other.
- Your time together was pleasurable and enjoyable.
- You laughed a lot together.
- You appreciated each other for every tiny little things.
So, before your marriage, you give so much attention to your spouse that it makes him\her build idealistic dreams that you would be a perfect and caring partner after your marriage also.
But things change drastically after a few years of your marriage. Your spouse becomes a mere person who lives with you because you married him\her.
Here is your marriage scenario.
- You scarcely notice your spouse. He\she does the same to you.
- You are very matter of fact in your interaction with your spouse.
- You do not appreciate each other.
- You spend most of your time at home alone.
What a drastic changeover in your life before your marriage and after your marriage.
This is very dangerous to your relationship.
Do you know what happens when you do not give attention to your spouse?
- When you scarcely notice your spouse, his\her good qualities skip your attention.
- Your lack of attention makes you ignorant about the emotional needs of your spouse.
- When you stop observing your spouse, you fail to notice him\her undergoing tremendous mental strain.
- You also never understand the downtime of your spouse that needs your instant emotional support.
So, not giving attention to your spouse makes you oblivious about things to be done to make your relationship stable and secure. When you do not give attention to your spouse you will never understand him\her as you really should.
This creates loads of relationship issues between you.
Yes!
When you cease to give attention to your spouse, he\she feels uncared and unloved by you.
Strangely, though you do not give attention to the emotional needs of your spouse, you are more than ready to observe his\her faults. You make the minor faults of your spouse into a big issue.
When you pay attention only to the negative qualities of your spouse you miss out many of his\her good characteristics.
Unless you observe your spouse you never really know him\her. Sadly, after marriage this is what happens to your relationship. Everything about your spouse goes unnoticed and unobserved by you which makes your married life lose its sheen very soon.
Why do you cease to give attention to your spouse after your marriage?
- It is because you lose interest in your spouse soon after your marriage.
- You never understand that observing the emotional needs of your spouse is essential to nurture your relationship.
- You are satisfied in living a mediocre and mundane married life.
- You are tired in fulfilling your never-ending family responsibilities that you cannot be bothered about your spouse.
- You are so drained of your energy level by slogging for the financial betterment of your family that you do not think it is your duty to make your spouse feel loved.
When you cease to give attention to your spouse, there will be nothing exciting in your relationship.
When you interact with your spouse only about essential family matters, your relationship ceases to excite you. When you spend hours without talking to each other, you will get used to your non communication.
Never let this happen to your married life.
Give attention to your spouse if you want to keep the light of love shining brightly in your relationship.
Here are the simple tricks
1. Pay attention to your spouse to understand his\her stress and tension
When your spouse is stressed and tensed, he\she needs your emotional support more than anything else. But you fail to observe it as you are too busy with your social media\internet\video games\mobile phone.
Your inattentive behavior makes your spouse feel very neglected and overlooked.
Never do this to him\her.
You can easily make your spouse feel loved when by following certain simple tricks.
Give protective support to your spouse when he\she is stressed and stressed
Console him\her with soothing words. Make him\her forget his\her worries by being caring and loving.
When you give your spouse the emotional support he\she drastically needs, it brings in incredible fulfillment to your marred life.
Not a very difficult thing to do, is it?
2. Share the happiness and pride of your spouse
Most of you never really know that your spouse is waiting to share his\her happiness with you.
There are times your spouse might be praised for his\her efficiency in his\her work place. He\she might be appreciated for his\her looks.
Since you are most important person to your spouse, he\she instantly wants to share it with you.
But you scarcely pay attention to the bubbling happiness of your spouse. Even if he\she comes to share it with you, you are not at all interested.
What makes your spouse happy does not make you happy.
The happiness of your spouse peters into nothingness when you fail to notice it.
3. Pay attention to the sexual needs of your spouse
Do you feel sexual pleasure is your prerogative alone?
The need for sexual intimacy is mutual.
But in your tiredness and listlessness, you make sex a compulsory routine to satisfy your physical needs alone.
You ignore the intimate gestures your spouse sends to you as you are too tired to observe it.
Never ever ignore the sexual cravings of your spouse.
Instead make the interest in physical intimacy mutual. The excitement it gives you is enthralling and exhilarating.
4. Notice the goodness of your spouse
You are the first to make accusations when your spouse does something wrong.
But have you ever observed the good points of him\her?
Have you ever appreciated the duty consciousness of your spouse?
Have you ever noticed his\her contribution towards the family which is immense?
Have you ever appreciated the good looks of your spouse?
You never do any of these as you have never observed such positive qualities of your spouse.
When you overlook the good qualities of your spouse, he\she feels resentful towards you.
Conclusion
“A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow to merely satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them.” – Liberty Hyde Bailey.
Can you see how you fail to give attention to your spouse?
You observe everything around you except your spouse.
You can be justified if you fail to observe others. It does not in any way affect your life.
But when you fail to observe your spouse it makes your relationship boring and dull.
Something you never want to happen to your marriage.
Sharmain says
My husband and I have been married for 24 yrs and I feel that our marriage is dying. It all started ever since my teen son has had 2 drug charges and is seeking counselling. He’s been playing truant till today, doesn’t want to go to college and is loafing with friends that we do not know.
My husband and I constantly have arguments because of him. My husband wants to kick him out of the house but I have a soft spot for our son. Ultimately, we haven’t had an intimate relationship for almost 4 months and it’s killing us. What should I do as a wife and mother.
Mathi says
Hi Sharmain,
The problem between you is your son, nothing else. It is sad that your son has fallen prey to a destructive habit. Your just cannot throw your your son out as your husband wants to do. Both are duty bound towards him.
First have you ever analyzed how your son fell into this life destroying habit?
If it is your parental mistake, both should rectify it.
He has to be rehabitalized. You should not be lenient towards his habit as it eventually could destroy him. Both should put your heads together to do what is best for your son. When your son is rehabilitated, all your relationship issues will be resolved. But it will take all your patience and mental grit to do it. Good luck.