Your world come crashing to your feet when you come to know that your husband is a gay, doesn’t it?
You are shattered that the person you ardently loved had such a huge secret behind him.
You had your own doubts before you are actually confirmed that your husband is a gay.
After all, it doesn’t happen suddenly. Your husband shows signs of his different sexual inclination in many ways. The sad thing is that you never pay much attention to it.
Here are the signs you should be beware of!
- Your husband withdraws having sex with you.
- He loses the attraction a husband normally has for his wife.
- You are baffled by his indifference as he acts as though you are non-existent.
- Your husband spends most of his time with the same sex.
- His behavior with them is not normal. It is as though he was enamored by them.
- Your husband becomes moody and gloomy when you try to be intimate with him.
You don’t know how you should react when you realize that your husband is a gay, don’t you?
Your initial reaction is disbelief. You cannot believe this happening to you.
You develop very low self-esteem about your sexual appeal. You feel it is because you are unattractive that your husband feels fascinated towards the same sex.
You have no reasons to feel so.
You should realize that the changed sexual behavior of your husband has nothing to do with your sex appeal. It has everything to do with his personal perception about sex. That he was attracted to the same sex is his way of enjoying sex.
What are the things you fear when you realize that your husband is a gay?
- Your immediate fear is the social stigma attached to it.
- You cringe with shame when you know that your friends\relatives would be discussing your husband.
- You hate their pitying look.
- You abhor their unwanted advice.
- You are terrified about the future of your children. You don’t really know how to confess to them about their father.
- You dread that you might have sexually transmitted disease.
Fears and more fears haunt you. You lose your peace of mind. And you want to shut yourself away from the world.
It is a plain and harsh fact that you feel you can never be mentally normal, ever again in your life.
But, you cannot remain static feeling emotionally shattered that your marriage has ended.
Remember you have your own life before you. You have your children to think of. You cannot wallow in depression and let your life slip away from you.
You have to gear yourself up.
What are the essential things you should do when you know that your husband is a gay?
The first and foremost thing you should do is to make yourself mentally strong. If you buckle under the shattering impact of knowing that your husband is a gay, you will find it impossible to cope up with the situation.
Have yourself medically checked to see if you are affected by any sexually transmitted disease.
Don’t go into a depression thinking you have no sexual appeal. You have not made your husband a gay. His changed sexual inclination has nothing to do with you.
If your children are too young, do not discuss this painful issue with them. But if they are grownups, you can definitely take them into confidence. They have the right to know about their father.
The next major question before you is about the future of your marriage.
Are you strong willed enough to stay in your marriage after knowing that your husband is a gay?
Mostly you are not. You cannot behave normally with your husband after knowing his sexual preference. It is no use continuing your marriage, if you cannot accept the sexual inclinations of your husband.
File for a divorce.
After divorce, wipe away the bitterness you felt when you knew that your husband is a gay. You were not in any way responsible for it. If possible, get transformed to a new place.
The changed atmosphere will definitely make you forget your unhappy marriage.
It is indeed unlucky that your husband had a different outlook towards sex. To him he has done nothing wrong.
But to you, you feel he has shattered your emotional security. It is you who have to gear up to face your life after getting away from your gay husband.
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