Most of you are unaware of some of the marriage killers your relationship has inbuilt into it, until it is too late.
Your married life becomes complex and trickish when you do not live it the proper way.
Your assumption that your marriage will work on its own will be proved wrong, time and again.
You wrongly assume that life after your marriage, would always be happy and fulfilled.
After all, you had married the person you ardently loved.
“What could go wrong with my marriage?” you were smug about your relationship, before your marriage, weren’t you?
When you marry, you have many rosy dreams about your relationship. You dreamily think that your lovey dovey dating days would continue forever.
But after your marriage, you are shocked when the excitement of your dating days, no longer seems to exist.
In fact, you are taken aback when you find your marriage struggling to find its foothold, in many ways.
In fact, you are all at seas, not knowing the ways to make your marriage work.
There are many factors that destroy your relationship, without you realizing it.
You coolly overlook these factors as not important, but realize its negative impact only after it erodes the happiness and contentment of your married life.
Shall we now look at the 4 overlooked marriage killers that destroy your relationship with your spouse?
The no 1. of the marriage killers is your indifference towards your spouse
In the initial stages of your marriage, you pay attention to the emotional needs of your spouse in a caring way.
You are interested in your spouse.
Both spend quality time together.
You are supportive and protective towards your spouse.
But after the newness of your marriage wears off, you lose interest in your spouse, and gradually drift away from him or her.
When you lose interest in your work, you lose your proficiency.
When you are indifferent about your looks, you let go your appearance.
Can see how much you need interest in your day-to-day life?
It is the same in your married life.
Unless you are interested in your spouse, you will fail to notice his or her good qualities.
You might be physically present with your spouse. But because of your disinterest in your spouse, you are mentally distanced from him\her.
When you lose interest in your spouse, you become indifferent towards your relationship with him or him.
Do you know indifference is a death knell to your relationship?
When you become indifferent towards your spouse, you cease to care about him or her.
You do not cater to the emotional needs of your spouse.
Your spouse might be suffering from tremendous mental tension.
And in your indifference, you scarcely notice it.
Your spouse might be undergoing immense work related pressures.
You indifferently feel that it is none of your business.
You do not appreciate your spouse.
Instead, you become accusing and blaming.
There are no more fun filled days in your married life. Only days of anger and disappointments for both.
You and your spouse live an isolated life of seeming as husband and wife to the public view. But are more of strangers in your home.
Can you see how your disinterest in your spouse makes your relationship drift along, uninterestingly and boringly?
The no 2. of the marriage killers is you stop listening to your spouse
Interaction between you and your spouse is very essential to understand each other.
Listening to your spouse is of utmost importance in your relationship. Because, it is the only way to know about the feelings and emotions of your spouse.
And it is sad, that most of you do not listen to your spouse.
Husband does not listen to what his wife has to say to him, as he always feels that she is making much ado about everything.
This makes his wife feel, that her husband neglects and ignores her.
And wife never listens to the suggestions of her husband, as she feels she knows better about the needs of her family.
This makes her husband feel that his wife does not give importance to him in family matters.
This is a common relationship blunder, both constantly make, without realizing the negative impact it creates in your married life.
When your spouse does not listen to you, you feel emotionally distressed and upset.
And your spouse also feels resentful and bitter when you do not listen to him or her.
On the contrary, if husband listens to what his wife has to say to him, she feels that she is being loved and cared by him.
And when wife agrees to what her husband has to say, he feels that he is being valued and respected by her.
Most marriages fail because there is no interactive communication between couples.
The no 3 of the marriage killers is your boring and stale interaction
It is really strange, that you do not seem to have anything exciting to talk with your spouse, after a few years of your marriage.
Have you ever analyzed your interaction with your spouse, after your marriage?
You invariably talk about money, repayments, mortgage or savings.
There is nothing exciting in these topics. In fact, these topics only evoke arguments and fights between you.
Where you like this during your dating days?
You had so much to talk about, didn’t you?
You laughed a lot with your spouse.
You talked a lot with your spouse.
You discussed a lot with your spouse.
This is the reason you felt your dating days as heavenly days.
But everything changes after marriage.
After your marriage, your interaction with your spouse becomes boring and tedious.
Why does everything become commonplace after your marriage?
It is because after your marriage, you are surrounded by various commitments and responsibilities.
And the continuous responsibilities thrust on you, makes you buckle under its voluminous impact.
So, you become tensed about your family responsibilities.
In your drive to be responsible in your family duties, you constantly talk about it, day-in and day-out.
As your interaction becomes mundane and routine, the seriousness of your topics makes you and your spouse feel tensed about it.
Unless your interaction with your spouse is lively and vibrant, you will feel bored to communicate.
Family problems will always be there.
Family responsibilities will always be there.
This should not deter you from interacting with your spouse, emotionally and interestingly.
Interesting and emotionally connective interaction is the only way to liven up your marriage.
So, bring life into your interaction with your spouse, to breathe some life into your dying marriage.
You should small talk with your spouse.
Tease your spouse.
Display the love you have for your spouse.
Share hobbies in which both have mutual interest.
Show your love through your physical gestures.
Simple things like these makes your interaction interesting and lively for you.
The no 4. of the marriage killers is taking your spouse for granted
Many a time, you take your spouse for granted.
When your spouse is dedicated in his or her family duties, you feel he or she is only doing what should be done by him or her.
And that there is nothing to be appreciated in it.
When you take the contribution of your spouse towards the family for granted, he or she feels that he or she is being used by you.
You do not appreciate your spouse, when he\she is very caring and responsible towards you.
You often want your spouse to look presentable, and fail to understand that he or she too will feel the same about you.
You often let your spouse slog alone, without lending a helping hand to him\her.
You constantly demand the care of your spouse.
And you just let the good things about your spouse go over your head.
Do you know this unnoticing attitude of yours can make your spouse resent you?
This taking for granted attitude is not good for your relationship.
Conclusion
A little noticing, a little appreciation, a little understanding goes a long way in binding your relationship in love and more love.
Your married life should not become routine by your boring attitude but made interesting by your total involvement.
When you discard these marriage killers as poisonous to your married life, it will revive your relationship from the pitfall of boredom and resentment it had fallen into.
Visit my comprehensive relationship Youtube channel “Marriage Realities” to look at your marriage in a new light.
Here is the link to my channel!
Leave a Reply