I had always wondered whether encouraging your spouse had the stunning effect it is said to have in your marriage.
“Encouraging your spouse acts like an oxygen to your marriage,” my eighty-six year old mother smilingly told me.
“Really! How do you say so?” I asked her.
“Well, couples crave for encouragement more than anything else from their spouse. It is an emotional back-up he\she direly needs, you know. When there is no encouragement, you easily lose heart. I don’t know why couples never practice this simple habit to make their relationship stronger.” my mother went on.
“Being supportive and encouraging when your spouse is having it good is very normal. Almost all couples feel easy to do it. Your encouragement and appreciation when he\she is victorious gives your spouse only superficial happiness. In fact, he\she does not feel anything special about your support” she smiled.
“Why do you say so?” I was bewildered with her reasoning.
“Because your spouse is already fulfilled and satisfied at the level of accomplishment he\she has achieved,” my mother explained.
“Do you know when your spouse needs real encouragement from you?” she questioned me.
“Tell me amma,” I asked her interestingly.
“It is when your spouse has his\her back to the wall. It is when he\she is facing persistent failures. It is when he\she is emotionally shattered. But, mostly you never support your spouse at his\her worst time. It kills the very meaning of love, doesn’t it?”
Well, her eighty-six years old experience was talking words of gold!
Yes!
When you encourage your spouse at his\her moments of depression, his\her morale is boosted. Encouraging your spouse also brings you emotionally closer.
“We live by encouragement and die without it – slowly, sadly and angrily.” – Celeste Holm
Magical ways to encouraging your spouse!
Is your spouse facing persistent failures?
- Your encouragement stops him\her from becoming demoralized. It motivates him\her to try again and again for his\her success.
Does your spouse come to you with his\her problems?
- Do not thrust it aside as none of your business. Encourage him\her that he\she has the capacity to overcome any problems. It makes your spouse feels that he\she is very capable.
Did your spouse have a very bad day in his\her work place?
- All he\she needs is a few words of encouragement from you.
Is your spouse talented in any specific field?
- Encouraging your spouse makes him\her take his\her talent to a higher level. If you do not encourage his\her talent, it gathers dust to finally disappear.
Is the confidence of your spouse dipping below the danger level?
- A few words of encouragement from you makes it vanish.
Are you wondering about why a big deal is made about encouraging your spouse?
When your spouse is crumbling inside in agony and shame, he\she feels his\her world crashing down. He\she wants instant emotional support from you. Naturally, your spouse wants you to say that he\she is worthy and able.
Your spouse feels that he\she is the luckiest person in the world when you encourage him\her when he\she is down and out.
But sadly, in modern marriages encouragement is not given the importance due to it.
Why is it so?
Married life has become very taxing and tedious, as you hurry about in search of money. You are always tensed and stressed as the competition in your work place makes you edgy and nervous. Your mind is focused on your own problems. Your spouse is also focused on his\her problems.
You do not have the time and energy to be supportive and encouraging to your spouse. In fact, both make the other feel worthless and useless. This makes both crumble inside in unshared anguish and misery.
How does encouraging your spouse transform him\her?
- Encouraging your spouse when he\she is facing persistent failures, gives a boost to his\her destroyed morale.
- Your words of encouragement makes him\her gear up from the depth of depression he\she was sinking into.
- Your encouragement seeks out the hidden talents in your spouse.
- Your encouragement makes your spouse positive and energetic.
- Your spouse feels he\she has married the best person in the world.
Can you see the power of encouraging your spouse?
Encouragement is a morale booster. It is an ego booster. It is a relationship booster. It makes your spouse feel valued by you.
How should you encourage your spouse?
- Words of comfort and appreciation do a world of good to his\her sagging morale.
- Small loving physical gestures make your spouse feel completely encouraged by you. A warm hug, mild clapping, an affectionate pat or a proud smile deliver millions of encouraging messages.
- A thoughtful gift to show your appreciation means a lot to him\her.
None of these are difficult.
Do you want to be a special and exclusive person in the life of your spouse?
Encouragement and appreciation makes your spouse feel special about you. So, encourage him\her. It is a wonder tool of happiness to your marriage!
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