Most you are worried that your grown-up children hate you, aren’t you?
You feel agonized when your grown-up children whom you love and adore turn up against you.
Yes!
You love your children more than anything else in this world. You would sacrifice anything for their happiness and well-being.
Naturally, you are utterly dejected and depressed when your grown-up children hate you for certain things you do.
“How can my children dislike me? I would do anything in this world to make them happy. There is no doubt that they love me” often you are complacent and smug that you are doing everything to make your grown-up children happy and emotionally secure.
You are wrong.
Your grown-up children hate many qualities about you.
You will be taken aback when your children accuse you that you are a bad parent.
Are you wondering what you are doing to make your grown-up children hate you?
Here goes!
1. Your grown-up children dislike you for comparing them with others
You often make the mistake of comparing your children with others.
You want your children to shine in all aspects of their life.
When you see the children of your colleagues’\friends\relatives succeeding in their life, you feel that your children are not up to their standard.
Now starts your nagging.
Inwardly, you think that if you compare your children with others, they will be motivated to do better in their life. In actual fact, the reverse happens.
Your children fume and fret that you dare to compare them with others.
Your children hate your comparison. They feel you do not value them for what they are.
Understand that your children are different from other children. They cannot have the talent of others, just as others cannot have the talent of your children.
Everyone children have different talent and skills.
You cannot expect your children to have the same success of others. Your children have different speed, grasping power and intelligence.
They will succeed at their own pace.
If you are a good parent, you should appreciate even the tiniest success of your children.
Your children value you for this most wanted parental quality.
2. Your grown-up children hate you when you think buying them costly things makes up for your absence
Today’s modern children have the best things the world has to offer, as their parents earn a lot.
But they are also the most emotionally deprived.
Work keep you hours away from your home. So, your children spend too much lonely hours at home. This makes you feel guilty that you are unable to spend quality time with your grown-up children.
And in compensation for your absence, you buy your children expensive mobiles, costly video games and what not.
Yes!
Your children enjoy many luxuries at their young age itself.
Do you know your children only feels superficially happy by the many social status things you buy for them?
Your grown-up children want you to spend quality time with them. They want you to talk to them. They want you to be friendly with them. Your children want you to understand their emotional needs.
Your children might feel rich when you buy them costly things, but it never makes them emotionally rich.
Yet another parental blunder on your part.
3. Your grown-up children hate you when you do not listen to them
Do you know your children want you to listen to them?
Your children have many emotional needs. Their problems might seem trivial and inconsequential to you, but to your children it is of paramount importance.
When you are dead tired from a hectic work schedule, all you want is rest. Your nerves are so knotted up that you do not have the patience to listen to your children.
You are terse and abrupt when your children talk to you. You cut your children short as you feel they are making a mountain out of a mole.
Your poor children are emotionally shattered. Their young mind feels extremely disturbed and worried that you did not have the patience to listen to them.
Your children feel frustrated and resentful when you do not listen to them. It makes them feel completely unloved by you.
So, always listen empathetically to your children. They drastically need it.
4. Your grown-up children hate you when you do not give them a choice
Most of you want to live the life of your grown-up children. You have tons of dreams about them.
You choose the educational course your children must pursue, as you think that it has the best job opportunities.
But your grown-up children have different dreams about their life. And it is their prerogative also. When you shatter the dreams of your grown-up children by forcing your thoughts on them, they dislike you as a bad and insensitive parent.
When you take your grown-up children out, you do not consult them about their wishes and desires. You always buy things that suit your budget. You are not worried whether your children will like what you are buying for them.
Yet another parental blunder.
As a good parent you must tell your children about your budget when you start from home. Allow your grown-up children to select things according to their likes.
Be indulgent if your children ask for things that are a wee bit higher than your budget. When you buy them what your grown-up children like, they adore you for that.
5. Your grown-up children hate you when you treat them as if they had no brains
Are you always preachy and instructing?
Do you tell your grown-up children about your good old days when you used to obey your parents to the dot?
Do you degrade your children as being disrespectful and unruly?
Your grown-up children feel overwhelmed with resentment when you treat them like dimwits.
Your grown-up children want you to guide them and not to degrade them. Your children like your friendly interaction, and not your dictating commands.
Do not make your children obey you by being punitive and corrective. They will learn their own lessons through their mistakes.
Let your grown-up childrenlearn from their experiences and not from your old stories. They will not listen to you.
Conclusion
“What it’s like to be a parent. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” Nicholas Sparks
Parenting is a great art.
Most of you fail, because you make many unknown parenting mistakes.
Rectify your mistakes to make your grown- up children your greatest fan.
But if you continue to be their bitter critique and a dominating master, your grown-up children will forever dislike you.
You do not want that to happen to you, do you?
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