You become a nervous wreck when you face marriage problems, isn’t it?
Yes!
When you face consistent relationship problems, it makes you mentally tired and fatigued.
The comfort and compatibility you enjoy in your married life is the key to your happiness.
“I am unable to concentrate on my work because of the tense relationship I have with my wife” Ankeeth, a boy I knew was telling me.
“My wife keeps finding faults in whatever I do. She also compares me with her more successful colleagues and tells me that I am not good enough. Her attitude is making the atmosphere at my home tensed and hostile. I hate being home” the young boy’s shoulders drooped in dejection.
I am sure most of you must be feeling the same when there are marriage problems.
Here are the strange reasons behind your marriage problems.
- Problems in your marriage is always self-made.
- It is created by you.
- Small issues are blown out of proportion by you.
- Minor differences with your spouse make you feel that your relationship is complicated and complex.
- You forget to nurture your relationship, letting the sheen and shine of your love wear off very easily.
- Your idealistic dreams about your married life makes you feel utterly disappointed by even the tiniest of your relationship issues.
Can you see how your approach towards your relationship is the real reason behind your marriage problems?
You crave for a problem free married life.
Sadly, it can never happen, not even in your dreams.
Most of you make your relationship complicated by giving undue importance to its negative aspects.
Do you know that the picture-perfect celebrities who give loving poses also face immense relationship problems?
So, do not think you are the only one living through a problematic marriage.
Here are 5 real strange reasons for your marriage problems
1. Shattered and battered emotions.
Marriage is all about emotions.
What is the nature of emotions?
It is very fickle and unstable. Your emotions about your spouse keeps changing day by day.
Dealing with your colleagues in your work place is easy as you do not have any emotional bond with them. It is purely a professional relationship. You can be superficial in your emotions with them.
Mostly you put on a façade of goodness to achieve success in your job. You easily overlook the stress and tension caused by your colleagues as you have only professional relationship with them.
But your relationship with your spouse is emotional. So, you are often emotionally upset and disappointed in your relationship. And your highly fluctuating emotions makes you all confused about the status of your marriage.
As there is no confirmed protocol to live a married life, you make it all the more stressful by not following any basic etiquette in your relationship with your spouse.
- You are angry with your spouse for innocuous reasons
- You feel bitter against your spouse for the words he\she speaks in the heat of the moment.
- You clamor for your rights as if your relationship depended on it.
- You take literal meaning for each and every word spoken by your spouse.
- You never take offence with the words uttered by your colleagues. But you become all heated up with your spouse when he\she utters even the mildest of harsh words.
You feel that your relationship is so complicated that you wonder why you married your spouse at all.
So, be balanced and practical to accept the harsh fact that the frenzied love you had for each other during your dating days will not exist after your marriage. Mellow and mature love will take its place.
2. Too high expectations
You have high expectations about your married life. When there are too much expectations, there are also too much disappointments.
When you marry your spouse, you dream that your married life will be full of love and laughter. But you find that your relationship often experiences rough weather.
You are baffled by the emotional changes you and your spouse undergo. You feel highly irritated by the behavior of your spouse. He\she too has disappointments about you.
Unrealistic expectations about your spouse are one of the top reasons for your marriage problems.
- Do not have unrealistic and idealistic dreams about your marriage.
- Keep your dreams about your spouse at bay.
- Do not expect too much from your spouse.
- Accept him\her as he\she is.
This is the only way to make your marriage work.
3. Too much interference
Do you feel you have all the liberty to make your spouse tow your line?
You are wrong if you do so.
Your spouse is an individual. He\she needs his\her own privacy. Do not even dream of entering into the personal zone of your spouse. This creates intense anger and resentment in his\her mind.
- Let your spouse do things as he\she wants to.
- Do not mock at your spouse as if he\she was a dimwit.
- Do not make negative comments about the appearance of your spouse as it is a very sensitive topic to him\her. So, better avoid it.
- Give your spouse the most wanted ‘me time’.
- Do not interfere in his\her money dealings – topmost reason for your marriage problems.
Understand the simple fact that your spouse will never let go his\her individuality as it means a lot to him\her.
4. Turning arguments into a battle
Arguments and fights are common among couples.
But digging up old fights is a big no as it paves way to intense marriage problems.
When you dig up old fights, it instantly conveys the message that you had been harboring resentment about your spouse in your mind.
Here are the mistakes you commit when you fight with your spouse.
- You extend your fights for days because you want to emerge the winner.
- You want to prove your spouse is in the wrong.
- You drag the family of your spouse into your fight.
- You do not talk for days.
- Your mind stores the angry words spoken by your spouse for your future fights.
Do not make these mistakes as it creates tremendous problems in your marriage.
Forget your arguments then and there. Do not drag it on and on until both feel hostile towards each other.
5. Third party interference
Do you run to your parents with a complaint list about your spouse?
- Utter blunder on your part.
Do your parents come to your aid by arguing with your spouse on your behalf?
- Utter blunder on their part.
You do not need another person to advice you about your relationship. You and your spouse are mature enough to decide how you should adjust to each other. When there is a third-party intrusion, your relationship turns ugly.
Here are simple solutions to your problematic marriage
- Acknowledge that your spouse is an individual and so has his\her own unique whims and fancies.
- Overlook the irritating habits of your spouse.
- Have beautiful spacing between you.
- Be supportive.
- Never be too demanding about your rights as it is bound to backfire.
- Do not dig up old fights to renew your new fights.
- Let bygones be bygones.
- Respect your spouse for what he\she is.
- Do not snoop on your spouse.
- Do not bring your children into your arguments.
- Accept the hardcore fact that the frenzied love of your dating days will never exist after your marriage.
- Never ask for a third-party mediator to solve your marriage problems as it makes your relationship issues even worse.
- Be practical when there is need.
- Always be loving and understanding towards your spouse.
Conclusion
“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”- Barbara Johnson
Your spouse is your better half.
Your spouse is not your enemy that you should feel alienated from him\her.
Never let your marriage problems become your trump card to demean your spouse.
Keep your love alive and kicking by overlooking the minor faults of your spouse. Accept your spouse as your loving life partner whom you need by your side in all ups and downs of your married life.
Love your spouse for what she\he is. Do not thrust your ideas on her\him.
Do not trample your married life by trampling the basic elements it needs to make it happy and comfortable.
Make your marriage work by co-existing as a united team. Lean towards each other for support and love.
Never lean away from your spouse away in frustration and anger. Simplest of tricks to do away with your marriage problems.
I have started a new Youtube channel on relationships.
“Marriage Realities” is a comprehensive relationship channel which deals with all sort of issues you face in your married life.
Subscribe to my channel to understand your marriage in a new light.
Here is the link to my channel!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNrT3KOkTU5ITQMyYnVsxGQ
You will definitely like the varied relationship angles discussed. And it will be a visual treat to you.
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