Most of you do not understand the psychological effects of divorce on your children.
This is indeed sad.
Most of you are more concentrated on settling your accounts with your spouse, than on the psychological effects of divorce on your children.
You convince yourself that your children will be better off when you divorce your spouse.
“My children will only be happy if they live away from an atmosphere of fights and abuse.”
“After I divorce my spouse, I will give the best possible life my children can hope for” you console yourself.
No.
You are wrong in feeling so.
By feeling that your children will be better off if you divorce your spouse, it just means that you do not understand the emotional pain they are undergoing, when you separate them from their other parent.
The modern outlook towards marriage is rather alarming.
You are self-centered and focused on your own comfort level.
When anything you dislike happens in your relationship, you do not think of adjusting with your spouse.
You would rather annul your marriage.
And you have many convincing reasons behind your divorce.
You convince your mind that you are right, and you are hell bent to convince others that your spouse is in the wrong
This modern trend of twisting your relationship issues according to your mindset is proving to be very dangerous.
You do many things to destroy your marriage and convince yourself that you have done the right thing.
In the process, you hurt your children in the worst possible manner.
You do not understand that you owe your children certain responsibilities.
You think that you are a good parent when you buy your children costly things.
It does not.
You can be called a good parent, only when you give your children the emotional security of a united family.
If you have even a fraction of a clue about the emotional pain your children undergo when you divorce your spouse, you would not even dream of separating from him or her.
Shall we have a look at the top 5 psychological effects of divorce on your children?
The no 1. Emotional pain your children undergo when you divorce your spouse is the agony of living away from their other parent.
Your children love you and your spouse, equally. And they enjoy being with you as a family.
But your divorce, brings an end to the emotional security of your children.
You might have won the custody of your children. And you feel happy that you have your children with you.
But your children are not at all happy. Their world come crashing down, when the reality that their other parent will be living away from them sinks into their tender mind.
No more plays with the other parent.
No more hugging the other parent when they are happy.
No more family outings.
No more indulgent pampering from the other parent.
You have crushed the tender world of your children, by not adjusting and adapting with your spouse.
This is the no one amongst the phycological effects of divorce on your children.
The no 2. Emotional pain your children undergo when you divorce your spouse is the agony of a broken home
You think that your children are too young to know the intensity of your divorce.
You are wrong.
Though your children are young, they know everything.
Your children might not know the real reasons behind your divorce. But they know that you divorced your spouse, because you could not get along with him or her.
Your children are emotionally shattered when you deny them the protection of a united family.
You might be a loving parent. But living with just you, make your children feel insecure and uncertain about their life.
They long for the wonderful days of being a wholesome family, back into their lives.
The no 3. Emotional pain your children undergo when you divorce your spouse is the balance they felt
Are you confused about what I am implying when I say that your children feel imbalanced in their life?
Let me explain.
When you lived with your spouse, there were times when you were wild with anger against your children. You might have reprimanded them.
Your children would have felt unhappy at your scolding. This is where your spouse steps in to balance the feeling of unhappiness in your children.
When your spouse consoles your children, they feel their unhappiness of being scolded by you receding.
This balancing of you being supportive when your spouse reprimands them, and your spouse being consoling when you are angry with them, is lost when you divorce your spouse.
The no 4. Emotional pain your children undergo when you divorce your spouse is when they see their friends living as one big family
When your children are witness to the happiness their friends enjoy as a united family, they are upset that they are unlucky to be a byproduct of a broken family.
Seeing their friends being picked up by their parents after their school hours is over, your children feel demoralized that their other parent would never be there to take them home.
When their friends share the happiness they enjoyed with their parents, your children long the same in their life.
The no 5. Emotional pain your children undergo when you divorce your spouse is not being able to get along with your new love
After you divorce your spouse, you easily find a new love. And you also feel your children will get along fine with him or her.
Though your children might not openly show it, they are unable to think about your new love as a replacement to their mother\father.
Their loyalty is always with the other parent.
And when your new love has children from his or her former marriage, your children life turns upside. With the advent of a new stepmother or stepfather, and the added agony of a new step sister or step brother, your children find it near impossible to cope with the situation.
While you are enjoying your new love, your children find it emotionally traumatic to accept the new members in the family as their own.
Conclusion
Can now understand the psychological effects of divorce on your children?
You divorce your spouse without thinking about your children.
You say you love your children more than your life.
But it is sad that you destroy their happiness by not adjusting with your spouse.
You should understand that there is no perfect marriage anywhere in this world.
There is no perfect spouse either.
You should realize that you too are not perfect.
You must adjust to the imperfections of your spouse, if you want your marriage to work.
When you overlook the faults of your spouse and live as a united family, it is the best protective emotional umbrella you can give your children.
I have started a youtube channel, “MARRIAGE REALITIES, which an exclusive relationship channel.
Here is the link to “Marriage Realities”
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNrT3KOkTU5ITQMyYnVsxGQ
Subscribe to my channel to understand your marriage in a new light.
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